You poor suffering bastard...
It seems that, with his dramatic walk off homerun in game 7 of the 2003 ALCS Aaron Boone continued one curse, now defunct, but also conceived another, and the proof lies in the photo above!
The great wizards and warlocks of ere were often known to cast confusingly intertwined "multi-spells" into order to ensure the greatest possible damage would be inflicted upon the cursee. It seems that Boone is a descendant of this powerful line of dark magic wielders, and that his true menace and wrath is manifesting itself as we speak!
This maniacal curse was brilliantly hidden within the fold of his primary objective in the fall of '03, continuing "The Curse of the Bambino" and has only manifested itself this season as "The Curse of those Fleeing the Curse of the Bambino for the Curse of the Goat or Whatever it is that keeps the Damn Cubs from Winning a Championship."
Take the doubly cursed Todd Walker, 2003 Red Sox second baseman, 2005 Cubs long-term DL attendee with a knee injury, likely out until June. And now add to it Nomar's groin injury, which will keep him on the pine for 3 months. Need I say more.
We have all seen the video, Nomar swings and bounces to second and without making a motion towards first base falls to the ground, clearly in the grip of pure evil! Evil which would cruelly pull the groin muscle from the bone, driving the noble swordsman and his sub-200 batting average and tendency to greatly exaggerate injury to the ground.
I imagine if you ask Aaron Boone where he was at the time of the injury he will feign innocence and claim he was "playing a baseball game" and that he's not "cursed with the dark spirit" but believe him not and be fooled not by his foul will! Evil and only evil resides in that tempest of hatred and pain and be warned all ex-2003 Red Sox, steer clear of the Goat-cursed land of Chicago for you too may fall victim to this most vile and viscous magical conspiracy!
* Disclaimer: This post was written at 2:00 AM after a 13 hour shift. No excuses for how weird it is I'm just saying keep it mind when you're blasting at me. Thanks.
1 comment:
Me thinks Boone blew out his knee playing pick-up basketball.
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