In news that would have shocked everyone three weeks ago and shocked no one today Peyton Manning signed with the Denver Broncos.
This was essentially the catalyst to the off-season, the flicked finger that struck the first domino in the elaborate matrix, and now all the rest are allowed to fall.
From a personal standpoint this was the third worst alternative in my little world. The worst alternative would have been Manning signing with the Dolphins thereby requiring me to watch the Patriots deal with him twice every year. The second worst would have been him ending up in San Francisco thereby forcing me to loathe the team supported by my future in-laws and the lady who's relationship with me designates them as such. Living in Colorado, although temporarily, makes this eventuality number three on my "Don't Want" list.
It's more a, "...damn it," than a, "...nooooooooooo," situation but still not my preference by any means. (Come on Manning Arizona is lovely this time of year.)
However a silver lining, nay a irrepressible positive that will come from this will be the exposure of Broncos fans as the complete and utter frauds that we all suspected them to be starting last November. Sure some Bible-thumping idiots who think football is morality contest are genuinely unhappy that Tebow just got his ticket out of Denver stamped with Manning's unmistakable pouting grimace. But for the most part there was only joy here today. And that sends a clear message: THEY KNEW TEBOW SUCKED ALL ALONG.
If they Bronco fans really thought J-Tebow was a franchise-making football player then the staff meeting I was sitting in when the news broke would not have devolved into a scene from the parking lot of Sports Authority Field in 2.5 seconds, but it did. Some were so bold as to call Denver the favorite in the AFC next year. (...You do know he had four neck surgeries and you have no wide-receivers right?)
If you're a Denver fan and you applauded this move you have to burn your Tebow jersey today. Not when he gets traded, today. Why? Because you've been completely full of shit for six months. You lied (TT hates lying btw) to the world by insisting that you actually think Timmy Christ is legit, but now that another option has come along you drop him like third period french.
Not only did you try to argue that he was serviceable (good? great?) you became insufferable, single minded, republican-esque zealots. Anyone that cheered against Tebow was a heathen who hated him because he was religious. Point out his 46% completion percentage? Straight to hell you anti-Christian fool. Note the ridiculous sequence of circumstances and luck that allowed Denver to win eight games in a row including several 60+ yard field goals? Shut up hater, if he was anyone else you wouldn't be saying he sucks.
Well now you're lauding the acquisition of a guy who missed an entire season with multiple neck surgeries. A guy who has always been surrounded by great receivers (you don't have any). A guy who has always played indoors (you play outside in Colorado). A guy who may never be a legitimate starter again, over your messiah. With Tebow you knew what you were going to get and pretended that you loved it, now you have no idea what you're going to get from Manning and you're elated. This confirms for every logical football observer that you all knew from the beginning that Tebow was a scrub. And still you forced him down our throats like broccoli to a seven-year old. Still you defended him against all legitimate criticism by holding his religiosity up as a shield. Still you demanded that his quality as a person count as credit against his deficiencies as a player. Now you turn it off like a light switch and say goodbye.
I was going to hate the Broncos from now on anyway. (I was never much of a lover to begin with.) As a Patriots fan I will never have the slightest positive feeling for a team that employs a Manning. But after this display today? You're approaching Texas Rangers fan pathetic levels. Enjoy your new toy, try to find a second to wave goodbye as they send your old favorite, your '11-'12 savior, your pillar of all things right, your messiah packing to Jacksonville or Miami.
I only have two words for your future: Manning Face.
Monday, March 19, 2012
Monday, March 05, 2012
Put Down the Pitchforks
There are two things that we "know" about the Saints' and Greg Williams' pay-for-injury scandal.
1. It happened, both in New Orleans and in Washington.
2. Roger Goodell is going to come down like a ton of bricks on both the team and the coach.
But is it just me (unpopular opinion alert) or is this whole thing more stupid and poorly thought out than patently offensive?
My first problem with this idea of incentivized injuries is that it rewards a player for an outcome that might have nothing to do with an intentional action, which is totally counter-intuitive. The reality is a defender could do everything WRONG on a play and end up hurting the opponent by accident. Reinforcing that behavior with cash is just stupid. What happens on the next play if he goes out and makes the same mistake but gets burned for a touchdown instead of causing injury? Does he get a cookie?
Now don't get me wrong, in this era of the NFL you simply cannot be seen to be encouraging your players to be intentionally injurious. At the same time, I think the preachy nature of the response to this scandal has been over the top. In my opinion it represents bad coaching rather than repugnant violence and headhunting.
Consider the consequence of many injury-causing plays in today's NFL. I don't have any stats to back this up (nor am I going to look any up, this isn't a newspaper) but I'd be willing to bet there were more 15 yard penalties called in 2011-12 than any other season in history. Is this really the time to be paying your players to perpetrate dirty and illegal hits?
Of course not, but that's the problem with the way this issue is being viewed. Nobody has said that Greg Williams paid his players to commit illegal hits. There wasn't a helmet-to-helmet slush fund, a defenseless receiver payout, or a face mask twisting performance bonus. When pundits and columnists hear, "...pay for injury," they think dirty and illegal hits. Sure dirty and illegal hits can cause injury but so can clean legal hits.
Which only furthers my point that this is dumb and overblown. If the idea was to encourage players to illegally target opponents don't you think the payouts would have been far greater than $1,000 or $1,500? James Harrison has been fined well over $100,000 in the past few years for obviously dirty hits. Has he knocked over 100 players out of games so that if he played in such a system he would be able to make his money back? No chance. And again, it incentivizes something that makes no sense.
Go out and make a hit that costs you $50,000 and I'll give you $1,000... What?
Go out and make a bad decision or an incorrect play where someone gets hurt and I'll give you $1,000... What?
I'm sure it sounds like I'm defending the system but I assure you that I'm not. I just think it's sillier and more idiotic than it is evil and worthy of our unequivocal condemnation.
And it proves one thing beyond a shadow of a doubt. Greg Williams is a moron.
But it may also prove that the world of football is more reactionary and less logical than ever.
1. It happened, both in New Orleans and in Washington.
2. Roger Goodell is going to come down like a ton of bricks on both the team and the coach.
But is it just me (unpopular opinion alert) or is this whole thing more stupid and poorly thought out than patently offensive?
My first problem with this idea of incentivized injuries is that it rewards a player for an outcome that might have nothing to do with an intentional action, which is totally counter-intuitive. The reality is a defender could do everything WRONG on a play and end up hurting the opponent by accident. Reinforcing that behavior with cash is just stupid. What happens on the next play if he goes out and makes the same mistake but gets burned for a touchdown instead of causing injury? Does he get a cookie?
Now don't get me wrong, in this era of the NFL you simply cannot be seen to be encouraging your players to be intentionally injurious. At the same time, I think the preachy nature of the response to this scandal has been over the top. In my opinion it represents bad coaching rather than repugnant violence and headhunting.
Consider the consequence of many injury-causing plays in today's NFL. I don't have any stats to back this up (nor am I going to look any up, this isn't a newspaper) but I'd be willing to bet there were more 15 yard penalties called in 2011-12 than any other season in history. Is this really the time to be paying your players to perpetrate dirty and illegal hits?
Of course not, but that's the problem with the way this issue is being viewed. Nobody has said that Greg Williams paid his players to commit illegal hits. There wasn't a helmet-to-helmet slush fund, a defenseless receiver payout, or a face mask twisting performance bonus. When pundits and columnists hear, "...pay for injury," they think dirty and illegal hits. Sure dirty and illegal hits can cause injury but so can clean legal hits.
Which only furthers my point that this is dumb and overblown. If the idea was to encourage players to illegally target opponents don't you think the payouts would have been far greater than $1,000 or $1,500? James Harrison has been fined well over $100,000 in the past few years for obviously dirty hits. Has he knocked over 100 players out of games so that if he played in such a system he would be able to make his money back? No chance. And again, it incentivizes something that makes no sense.
Go out and make a hit that costs you $50,000 and I'll give you $1,000... What?
Go out and make a bad decision or an incorrect play where someone gets hurt and I'll give you $1,000... What?
I'm sure it sounds like I'm defending the system but I assure you that I'm not. I just think it's sillier and more idiotic than it is evil and worthy of our unequivocal condemnation.
And it proves one thing beyond a shadow of a doubt. Greg Williams is a moron.
But it may also prove that the world of football is more reactionary and less logical than ever.
Sunday, March 04, 2012
Doom and Gloom Alert!
First, I'd like to thank the New York professional football franchise who shall not be named for rendering me mute for the last 35 days or so... I've had nothing (nice or otherwise) to say so I've said nothing at all...
It's now March 3rd and I'm still astonished that it played out that way... Again...
Which brings me to the following (doom and gloom alert repeated)...
It's possible (likely?) that we have turned a bad corner here in Boston professional sports and that the greatest period of sustained success in my lifetime as well as the lifetime of the previous generation may have ended with a thud and whimper. And though it may seem as though that end came five weeks ago in Indianapolis I believe that it started much earlier and our inability to see the forest from the trees prevented it from becoming obvious until now.
Our crest was clearly (to me) June of 2008 when the Celtics won their 17th championship over the hated Lakers. Do I care that we bought and paid for that title like the Yankees of the mid '90's? Not one bit. This is Boston we're talking about, a relevant NBA free agent has NEVER signed here, and if the Celtics had gotten the number one pick in 2007 they would have taken Greg Oden (shudder...). Given the way the ping-pong balls bounced in the lottery and the fact that Boston had neither a warm climate or is located in a tax-free state the only way to assemble a competitive team was via trade or sign and trade. Credit to Danny Ainge and ownership for realizing what most of us did not, that it wasn't going to happen any other way.
Meanwhile the Patriots were coming off of an undefeated regular season. The Red Sox were defending World Series champs and had a roster that was poised to contend again...
Fast forward to July 31st when Red Sox management massively overreacted to typical Manny Ramirez bravado and stupidity and traded him for the king of both the meaningless solo home run and the worthless second half (Jason Bay) AND picked up $11 million of the tab to send him to the Dodgers. Find me one Red Sox fan that likes that deal in hindsight. Go ahead I'll wait...
Fast forward now from July to September. The Patriots were coming off of the greatest regular season in history. (In my extremely biased opinion that 18-0 '07 team is still the best team of all time.) Not a whole lot had changed on the roster and even though we (the fans) were still battered and bruised from the Super Bowl nightmare the Celtic's run had reinvigorated us and there was more than a little reason for optimism...
Seven minutes later Brady's ACL was in two pieces and despite a shockingly proficient season from Matt Cassell the Patriots managed to miss the playoffs at 11-5. That statistical improbability alone should have shown us the tide had turned...
Surprising exactly nobody the Red Sox failed to repeat their magic from 2007 without their best player and ended up watching the 2008 World Series from the couch. Thanks for that one hit in the post-season Jason, you were totally worth it.
Speeding up the fast forward button a bit...
In May of 2009 the Celtics, worn out from a tough series against the Bulls, collapsed against a soft Magic team and allowed Hedu Turkoglu (the guy who would become one of the faces of the NBA's bad-contract-itis) to demolish them over seven games. Turkoglu, who had 523 points (all figures approximated) in the decisive blowout in game seven in Boston, would go on to average -323 point (all figures approximated) per game for Toronto while being paid 7 billion dollars (all figures approximated) per season before being run back to Orlando.
In October of 2009 Papelbon gives up 100 runs (all figures approximated) with two outs in the ninth to blow game five of the ALDS to the Angels at Fenway.
In January of 2010 the Patriots allow Ray Rice to run for 2,000 yards (all figures approximated) in a playoff game AT HOME and lose by 400 points (all figures approximated).
But wait! Hope springs eternal (back in November...bear with me, this is hard to do in a linear way) with the Celtics who start the season by winning their first 200 games (all figures approximated) in a row and carry it through to another Finals match-up with the Lakers where, improbably, they have a double digit lead in the fourth quarter of game seven on the road! All is well right? ... Wrong! Ron Artest makes his first jump shot (all figures approximated) of the season and Kobe takes more free-throws than the Lakers had possessions (all figures approximated) in the last eight minutes and voila! It's over.
But all was not lost! Fast forward to football season. The Patriots had regained their pre-2008 form and were clearly the best team in football heading into the post-season after compiling a 14-2 record earning home-field advantage throughout. All they needed to do was beat a massively overrated Jets team with a lousy quarterback and a defense that was more bluster than substance for a shot at the AFC championship game... 64 touchdowns for Sanchez and 1,200 sacks (all figures approximated) of Brady later another season was finished in gut-wrenching fashion.
Good thing the 2011 Red Sox came along to save us! What an off-season the best GM the Red Sox have ever employed pulled off, signing two of the biggest available names in Adrian Gonzalez and Carl Crawford and one of the highest regarded pitchers in John Lackey. (I don't need to reiterate my feelings on those last two...) Every single media outlet had the Sox picked to at least win the division and make a deep playoff run... Then the games started... And they only won two of the first ten... But wait! It's alright, they figured it out and were the best team in baseball from May through August. Sure, they didn't quite catch the Yankees for the division crown but they had the Wild Card in the bag, holding a 5,000 game (all figures approximated) lead with only 27 games to play in September. A collapse like that would be unprecedented...
And it was. But collapse or no collapse all that was needed was a victory over the lowly Orioles on the last day of the season to ensure a playoff berth. No problem. At least it certainly didn't look like a problem as the Sox took a 700 run (all figures approximated) lead into the bottom of the ninth and still held that lead with two outs, Papelbon on the mound, and two strikes on the batter... Ten minutes later Pap had blown the save, the Rays had erased a 400 run (all figures approximated) ninth inning deficit against the Yankees (shenanigans?) and stolen the Wild Card right out from under us...
But there was still reason for hope. At least the franchise didn't insanely overreact to one bad month and run one of the most respected managers in the game and the man who led our first World Series winning teams since the early 1900's out of town of town on a rail while slandering him in the media... Oh wait. They did exactly that. Then they threw the team's three best starters under the bus for beating underage midget prostitutes and doing heroin (all offenses approximated) in the locker room. In so doing they created such a toxic environment that the previously mentioned best GM in franchise history left for a team that hasn't won a championship since Napoleon was a teenager (all championship drought lengths approximated).
But at least they didn't completely run off the tracks by hiring an anti-Francona who hasn't been relevant in baseball since the '90's and who manages in a way that simply will not work in today's professional sports environment... Okay fine they did that. But at least their poorly chosen manager hasn't been trying to get the Yankees v. Red Sox rivalry reheated in the media for no reason other than to make himself the focal point of a few ESPN articles... Oh he's done that too? ... Well at least he didn't decide to be a juvenile jackass and try to tell grown men that they can't drink beer in the clubhouse after games because of some overplayed nonsense from six months ago before he had even interviewed for the job... Fucking-hell he did that too? This has a 100% of totally working out well (all percentages are false).
Also, the Celtics are old and no longer a threat to win the East.
Oh, and the Patriots lost to the Giants in the Super Bowl... Again.
Yup, Boston, our run just might be over.
Unless of course you're a Bruins fan...
It's now March 3rd and I'm still astonished that it played out that way... Again...
Which brings me to the following (doom and gloom alert repeated)...
It's possible (likely?) that we have turned a bad corner here in Boston professional sports and that the greatest period of sustained success in my lifetime as well as the lifetime of the previous generation may have ended with a thud and whimper. And though it may seem as though that end came five weeks ago in Indianapolis I believe that it started much earlier and our inability to see the forest from the trees prevented it from becoming obvious until now.
Our crest was clearly (to me) June of 2008 when the Celtics won their 17th championship over the hated Lakers. Do I care that we bought and paid for that title like the Yankees of the mid '90's? Not one bit. This is Boston we're talking about, a relevant NBA free agent has NEVER signed here, and if the Celtics had gotten the number one pick in 2007 they would have taken Greg Oden (shudder...). Given the way the ping-pong balls bounced in the lottery and the fact that Boston had neither a warm climate or is located in a tax-free state the only way to assemble a competitive team was via trade or sign and trade. Credit to Danny Ainge and ownership for realizing what most of us did not, that it wasn't going to happen any other way.
Meanwhile the Patriots were coming off of an undefeated regular season. The Red Sox were defending World Series champs and had a roster that was poised to contend again...
Fast forward to July 31st when Red Sox management massively overreacted to typical Manny Ramirez bravado and stupidity and traded him for the king of both the meaningless solo home run and the worthless second half (Jason Bay) AND picked up $11 million of the tab to send him to the Dodgers. Find me one Red Sox fan that likes that deal in hindsight. Go ahead I'll wait...
Fast forward now from July to September. The Patriots were coming off of the greatest regular season in history. (In my extremely biased opinion that 18-0 '07 team is still the best team of all time.) Not a whole lot had changed on the roster and even though we (the fans) were still battered and bruised from the Super Bowl nightmare the Celtic's run had reinvigorated us and there was more than a little reason for optimism...
Seven minutes later Brady's ACL was in two pieces and despite a shockingly proficient season from Matt Cassell the Patriots managed to miss the playoffs at 11-5. That statistical improbability alone should have shown us the tide had turned...
Surprising exactly nobody the Red Sox failed to repeat their magic from 2007 without their best player and ended up watching the 2008 World Series from the couch. Thanks for that one hit in the post-season Jason, you were totally worth it.
Speeding up the fast forward button a bit...
In May of 2009 the Celtics, worn out from a tough series against the Bulls, collapsed against a soft Magic team and allowed Hedu Turkoglu (the guy who would become one of the faces of the NBA's bad-contract-itis) to demolish them over seven games. Turkoglu, who had 523 points (all figures approximated) in the decisive blowout in game seven in Boston, would go on to average -323 point (all figures approximated) per game for Toronto while being paid 7 billion dollars (all figures approximated) per season before being run back to Orlando.
In October of 2009 Papelbon gives up 100 runs (all figures approximated) with two outs in the ninth to blow game five of the ALDS to the Angels at Fenway.
In January of 2010 the Patriots allow Ray Rice to run for 2,000 yards (all figures approximated) in a playoff game AT HOME and lose by 400 points (all figures approximated).
But wait! Hope springs eternal (back in November...bear with me, this is hard to do in a linear way) with the Celtics who start the season by winning their first 200 games (all figures approximated) in a row and carry it through to another Finals match-up with the Lakers where, improbably, they have a double digit lead in the fourth quarter of game seven on the road! All is well right? ... Wrong! Ron Artest makes his first jump shot (all figures approximated) of the season and Kobe takes more free-throws than the Lakers had possessions (all figures approximated) in the last eight minutes and voila! It's over.
But all was not lost! Fast forward to football season. The Patriots had regained their pre-2008 form and were clearly the best team in football heading into the post-season after compiling a 14-2 record earning home-field advantage throughout. All they needed to do was beat a massively overrated Jets team with a lousy quarterback and a defense that was more bluster than substance for a shot at the AFC championship game... 64 touchdowns for Sanchez and 1,200 sacks (all figures approximated) of Brady later another season was finished in gut-wrenching fashion.
Good thing the 2011 Red Sox came along to save us! What an off-season the best GM the Red Sox have ever employed pulled off, signing two of the biggest available names in Adrian Gonzalez and Carl Crawford and one of the highest regarded pitchers in John Lackey. (I don't need to reiterate my feelings on those last two...) Every single media outlet had the Sox picked to at least win the division and make a deep playoff run... Then the games started... And they only won two of the first ten... But wait! It's alright, they figured it out and were the best team in baseball from May through August. Sure, they didn't quite catch the Yankees for the division crown but they had the Wild Card in the bag, holding a 5,000 game (all figures approximated) lead with only 27 games to play in September. A collapse like that would be unprecedented...
And it was. But collapse or no collapse all that was needed was a victory over the lowly Orioles on the last day of the season to ensure a playoff berth. No problem. At least it certainly didn't look like a problem as the Sox took a 700 run (all figures approximated) lead into the bottom of the ninth and still held that lead with two outs, Papelbon on the mound, and two strikes on the batter... Ten minutes later Pap had blown the save, the Rays had erased a 400 run (all figures approximated) ninth inning deficit against the Yankees (shenanigans?) and stolen the Wild Card right out from under us...
But there was still reason for hope. At least the franchise didn't insanely overreact to one bad month and run one of the most respected managers in the game and the man who led our first World Series winning teams since the early 1900's out of town of town on a rail while slandering him in the media... Oh wait. They did exactly that. Then they threw the team's three best starters under the bus for beating underage midget prostitutes and doing heroin (all offenses approximated) in the locker room. In so doing they created such a toxic environment that the previously mentioned best GM in franchise history left for a team that hasn't won a championship since Napoleon was a teenager (all championship drought lengths approximated).
But at least they didn't completely run off the tracks by hiring an anti-Francona who hasn't been relevant in baseball since the '90's and who manages in a way that simply will not work in today's professional sports environment... Okay fine they did that. But at least their poorly chosen manager hasn't been trying to get the Yankees v. Red Sox rivalry reheated in the media for no reason other than to make himself the focal point of a few ESPN articles... Oh he's done that too? ... Well at least he didn't decide to be a juvenile jackass and try to tell grown men that they can't drink beer in the clubhouse after games because of some overplayed nonsense from six months ago before he had even interviewed for the job... Fucking-hell he did that too? This has a 100% of totally working out well (all percentages are false).
Also, the Celtics are old and no longer a threat to win the East.
Oh, and the Patriots lost to the Giants in the Super Bowl... Again.
Yup, Boston, our run just might be over.
Unless of course you're a Bruins fan...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)