One Liners

* Sorry about the infrequent posts recently. Internet access has been sporadic with the family on the Cape and the holidays have tied me up. Things should get back to normal next week. Since I only have 25 minutes to get this out this morning it's one liners only.

- Tom O'Brien is the worst game day coach in competitive football. He committed the cardinal sin of trying not to lose rather than trying to win in yesterday's MPC Computers Bowl. He and the Eagles had a chance to prove that they did not belong in the Smurf Turf Bowl, they failed and it is his fault. He should be fired.

- WEEI Correspondant on Boise, "The only way I can describe it is to say that it's like Worcester with mountains."

- The Patriots are better off with the 4th seed in the AFC. Pittsburgh is playing better than Jacksonville and the matchup of David Garrard against Tom Brady is a laugher. Also, you want to get to Indy as soon as possible, you do not want to give them a game to pull it together. Dungy's son's death was a tragedy but football is heartless, get to Indy while they are down.

- The end of Monday Night Football on ABC is irrelevant. Everything that is under copyright with ABC is under the same umbrella with ESPN in the Disney Corp.. If you have cable, and almost everyone does the product will look remarkably similar.

- I need a mole in the Patriots organization. "Tedy Bruschi has a leg injury." No kidding, we all saw his leg get tweaked. How bad is the injury? Will he play against Miami / in the playoffs? What the heck is actually hurt down there? Clearly Larry Lucchino is not running the Patriots or every detail would have been leaked to the Globe from the sideline.

- NFL Live basically called Eli Manning a pussy last night. They were pointing out his completion percentage (51%) and saying that his accuracy is affected by his fear of getting hit by the pass rush. Did someone on the Easily the biggest Suckups to Peyton Network (ESPN) say something bad about a Manning? Mark down the date.

- Can we please stop talking about who is playing quarterback for the Bears? Who cares, that offense stinks regardless of who is taking the snaps and the defense is only totally dominant against weak NFC competiton. They will be watching from the couch by mid-January. I can't believe so many hours of my life have been wasted listening to people talk about Rex Grossman and Kyle Orton and an overrated defense.

- Remember when Matt Millen once hit a guy with his helmet after a game? Yeah he's the GM of the Lions. Any questions?

- Millar is literally blaming WEEI for the dismantling of the Red Sox. Ah, Kev for you it's your horrendous batting average and inability to ever get a big hit. For the rest of the team its the axis of arrogance.

- Manny and Clement for Tejada is a TERRIBLE deal. Manny is far better than Tejada and then you throw another player on top of that? Someone should be trading the Red Sox their entire team for Manny not the other way around.

- Can you imagine Gil Mesh and Jeremy Reid patrolling Fenway next season? Get used to it, and also say goodbye to Jon Lester. Now they've allowed their entire team to come unglued and are forced into trading a huge prospect for two bums. Nice work Larry.

- FIRE TOM O'BRIEN! PLEEEEEEAAAASSEEEE! He could give BC an opportunity to lose to Boise State! Oh wait HE ALREADY DID THAT! His inability is unparalleled!

$$$$$$$$$$

I will remain calm. I will not rant and rave. I will not curse. I will not scream. I will not break anything.

On October 27th, 2004 the door was opened by 25 "Idiots" for the Red Sox to assume control of the AL East, and baseball as a whole. The balance of power was shifted, the Yankees had taken a shot on the chin and the aging giant seemed unlikely to rise up again immediately. Steinbrenner wanted blood and the Red Sox covered themselves in champagne and adoration from the masses.

There was more good feeling around Red Sox nation (a perpetually downtrodden group) that day and in the days to follow than there has ever been. We were vindicated, triumphant, champions. This Red Sox ownership was a given a chance to make us all forget about Aaron Boone, Bill Buckner, and "next year" not just for a little while, but forever. 2005 was a wash, a season highlighted by a ring ceremony regardless of wins and losses. Even in defeat we were constantly reminded that the Sox were defending champions. Red Sox management could have transcended the game and become Gods in Boston, perpetuating the good feelings of October 27th far into the future.

Simply, they blew it.

First Pedro went to the Mets. Fine. He hated it here, he was the best Red Sox pitcher of all time but his departure was a foregone conclusion. No hard feelings towards him or the Red Sox on this one, we knew what he was and I will never begrudge him after his immense contributions over the course of 9 years.

Second, they allowed the wildly popular Orlando Cabrera to leave. Not a problem, his value was inflated after his post season performance. But then to fill his void they went out and got Edgar Renterria an even more overvalued shortstop who ended up producing less than Cabrera would have. However, his career numbers were impressive so one bad year under a brighter spotlight than he has ever played in is no cause for panic, more on this later.

Derek Lowe was a hero in the playoffs but a goat for the 6 months before that, his signing with the Dodgers was the only move that made sense for him. His post season performance jacked his value up way beyond reality and he took the money. I will always love D-Lowe for game 7 regardless, but I will remember how bad he was in the summer of '04 everytime I start to miss him. But now the floodgates are open an the '04 team is fleeing the coop quickly.

Then the sky started falling. After the '05 season Larry Lucchino personally robbed Red Sox fans of half of their lingering positive feelings from the previous year by forcing out native son and local hero Theo Epstein with his arrogance and sleaze. The media leaks, the back stabbing, and in-fighting created one of the ugliest scenes imaginable and left the Sox in the lurch for a GM with major business ahead of them. For fans, this was starting to feel familiar.

Skip forward a few weeks and now the Sox and whoever is pulling the strings have made 2 trades. First they traded Hanley Ramirez who has been considered their best prospect for a while now, and others for Josh Beckett (and also Mike Lowell = Bill Mueller to the Dodgers) in a move that was just crying to be approved by Red Sox nation. We took the bait and applauded despite knowing that we were losing Mueller in the process, though we did not know whom we were applauding. Then in a move that reeked of, "We don't need Theo!" they traded Renterria for some 12 year old kid from Iowa and a case of beer, plus sent $11 million to the Braves so they would take him. Now those game 7 memories were starting to seem like a vague dream, one that we had at least 86 times between 1918 and 2004.

So now just as the old feelings of resentment and misery as a Red Sox fan were starting to creep back in hope springs eternal. They will re-sign Johnny Damon, the core of the team will remain in tact: Schilling, Varitek, Manny, Ortiz, Nixon, etc. "Remember game 7? Yeah, Johnny was great in that game, it will be great to have him back."

Ooops.

Just as they did with Epstein the Red Sox arrogantly assumed that there was no way Damon would leave, and they never even considered the Yankees to be a threat in the negotiations. Not a threat eh? When have we known the Yankees to not be a threat in high dollar value negotiations? Lucchino and his shocking ego thought they had the deal by the throat and that eventually Damon would realize that this rock-star status would be diminished anywhere other than Boston and that he would accept whatever they offered. With Lucchino, Ben, and Jed clearly drunk at the wheel Damon packed his bags and made a midnight escape to the enemy.

And here we are December 23rd, 2005 and the Red Sox team of October 27th, 2004 has been blown up. Among others who are now gone: Millar, Bellhorn, and Embree (not that we miss them, but they were all crucial to that '04 team). Those good feelings are eradicated and once again we are reduced to looking angrily and fearfully 200 miles to the south at the Brox as they just get better and better.

We thought that things would be different, we thought they had changed. Thanks to Lucchino's pervasive arrogance, Damon's greed, and our delusions things have changed. The thing is, the changes I was hoping for were for the better, not the worse.

Good riddance Johnny, we would have loved you forever. There is no way you will be the star in New York that you were here, but you were blinded by the $$, your impossibly high-eyed view of yourself, and the stupidity of the Red Sox. I blame you and I think you are a traitorous little rat that has been exposed for what he really is, but I blame Lucchino more and it's his head that I want now.

Oh right, I almost forgot, they still want to trade Manny... maybe they could trade him to the Yankees for Damon and save 7 million. Morons.

Merry Christmas from the B-Slant, sorry I just dropped the ball on the Week 15 post. I would blame it on Christmas shopping but I'm just headed out to start that right now.

What If Weekend

If you are an NFL fan lucky enough to live in a city with a competitive team most likely this is your, "What If Weekend." The formulas involved in calculating what needs to take place for your team to make the playoffs rival the algorithms that are used to break down genetic code, and are far beyond this simple english major's mental capacities.

Instead of going down the, "The Broncos get in if the Steelers and Chiefs both tie at exactly 21.3 points each and their cheerleaders engage in one bathroom sex act in Carolina," path the B-Slant is going to make up it's own "What Ifs" and logic be damned.

What if San Diego shocks the experts and beats Indy?

2 things will happen if the Chargers knock of "D-Caf" and the Colts. 1. My dream scenario where the Colts go undefeated through the rest of the regular season, get the first round bye and have the play the Patriots in the divisional game only to subsequently lay the biggest egg ever on the biggest stage ever cementing once and for all who the team of the decade really is, will be ruined.
2. Sean Salisbury will hang himself with Mark Schlereth's tie. 2a. Not one regular starter will play next week at Seattle on either team if the Seahawks have NFC home field wrapped up. The resulting game will be among the most boring 60 minutes in the history of football, Tony Dungee will actually slip into a coma at one point.

What if Pittsburgh beats Minnesota?

The Brad Johnson School of Scientology will be disbanded after just 6 weeks of practicing religion. To Daunte Culpepper the idea of sitting in court all day on misdemeanor charges won't seem to bad. And the cosmos will be realigned to support rational thought.

What if Minnesota beats Pittsburgh?

Satan himself will emerge from the depths of Hell to take the second of Brad Johnson's souls that are now indebted to him. Vikings fans will say, "Eh, it was worth it." Ben Rothlisberger will be seen with books of dark magic, a 6 pointed star, and Johnson's phone number. If that fails he will charter a boat.

What if Tom Brady does not play against Tampa?

Mass suicide attempts will be reported around Massachusetts. The name Doug Flutie will call a few potential jumpers back from the ledge but then they will remember that he is 104 years old and will then light themselves on fire instead. Corey Dillon will carry the ball 44 times, for 88 yards against the Bucs new "11 on the line" defense. The final score of the game will be Chris Simms 7 Patriots 0. Those who attempted suicide and failed will try again realizing that the Dolphins have still not been eliminated.

What if the 49ers beat the Jaguars and the Lions beat the Bengals?

Almost every playoff scenario you read in the AFC involves these two teams beating their meager NFC competition. If they lose everything gets thrown up in the air for Pittsburgh, San Diego, KC, and Denver. If the Bengals win they clinch the AFC North, if the Jags win and everyone else (except the Bengals) loses they clinch a wild-card spot. What would I make of my balance of power argument (the AFC far ahead of the NFC) if the worst of the AAA conference came in and beat 2 of the alleged class of the AFC? Not much. Just like how much of a chance there is that this will happen. Not much.

What's the only thing that could make Daunte Culpepper's year worse?

The Vikings win the Super Bowl without him, leading all the mid-west racists that have called for his head for years to literally lynch him onto a giant Brad Johnson statue in his front yard. Seriously though, a terrible performance, a year ending injury, a resurgent team in his absence, and now legal charges. I would trade places with most NFL players in a heartbeat. Not Daunte though. This is not really a what if, is it?

What if I basically ran out of steam on this post long before I planned to? Then it would end here. Maybe more later.

Remember the Good Old Days Donovan

I'm confused by what is going on in Philadelphia between J. Whyatt Mondesire (is there a more pompous name this side of J.D. Rockefeller?) head of the local NAACP and Donovan McNabb.

Maybe I'm too white to understand this but I thought the NAACP was supposed to support blacks not call them out as mediocre AND racially improper. This whole thing seems totally counterintuitive.

First off all, why now? McNabb has been out for over a month and the Super Bowl in which Mondesire is alledging that he choked was almost a year ago. What has he been sitting in the NAACP offices everyday stewing on this until he finally decided that he couldn't take it anymore and needed to make a statement? McNabb is done for the year and this Eagles' season is over, was it that slow of a news day in Mondesire's publication and he needed something to boost readership or is he just an idiot?

Secondly, did Mondesire watch the Super Bowl? Has he watched any Eagles games over the last 5 seasons? The Patriots won the Super Bowl last year, Donovan McNabb did not choke it away. Period. Anyone who watched the game could have told you that. If he was sick in the huddle on the last drive that tells me something about the effort he had already put out, and if he was not ill there is no guarantee that the Eagles score anyway. The Patriots would likely not have allowed that game to slip away, sick McNabb or not. Furthermore, Philadelphia never would have reached that position without him, nor would they have reached the previous 3 NFC Championship games. He was the best player on one of the best teams in the conference for 4 consecutive years, what more do you want from him? If that is a failure as a leader I'll take failure every year if I'm an Eagles fan.

Third, how can Mondesire honestly look at the Terrell Owens situation and blame anyone but the perpetrator himself? He contends that the problem could have been resolved if McNabb, "had the courage to offer only a tiny fraction," of his contract bonus to make T.O. and Brian Westbrook happy. Clearly this is Mondesire's first foray into the field of sports. Why should McNabb give up a part of his contract, a deal to which he is abiding, to help placate a blowhart millionaire who is unwilling to abide by his own lucrative deal? The idea that McNabb's unwillingness to pay Owens out of his own pocket contributed to the ultimate suspension etc. is absolutely preposterous and unfair. If that holds water you have to hold all of the 52 other players on the roster accountable in the same way. Blame T.O. for signing a bad contract, blame him for mouthing off in the press about team leaders, heck even blame the media for making it more of a circus, but don't under any circumstances try to blame a player on the team for not ponying up his own millions to a guy that has criticized him from day one. I hope that J. Whyatt isn't holding his breath for that type of behavior around the league, because it certainly is not happening.

Finally, I think the most ridiculous aspect of this story is the idea that by not scrambling as much McNabb has hurt to cause of black athletes. Is he serious? So by that token Byron Leftwich, who moves about as well as Dan Marino, must have set the cause of black athletes back 100 years, right? Quarterbacks get older and as such they realize that scrambling around gives huge 400 pound defensive linemen much more opportunity to try to plant them into the ground than passing from the pocket. That may be hard for Mondesire to understand because the only pocket he is likely familiar with rests on the laurel of his smoking jacket but if he were to follow the careers of some of the greatest running quarterbacks he would see that trend in all of them, black or white. Steve McNair, once a great running quarterback, now passes mostly from the pocket after not being able to practice for the better part of 2 seasons due to hits taken while scrambling around. Steve Young, Brett Favre, Joe Montana, all the same story, runners in the beginning of their careers that turned into pocket passers as their games developed.

Having a quarterback that can run is a weapon, but if I am an Eagles fan (and I am NOT) I do not want McNabb running all over the place. Why? Because very few quarterback runs are designed plays, most of the time when a QB takes off it is because the play did not develop downfield or the protection broke down early. Does any logical fan want a large percentage of their plays to break down and rely on the improvisational skills of your quarterback? Absolutely not.

As for the racial idea in his criticism shouldn't Mondesire want McNabb to be judged on an equal scale with all quarterbacks of all races? It seems completely against the idea of the NAACP for McNabb to be held to a different standard based on different criteria. He says that McNabb's lack of running later in his career belittles the struggles of black athletes who have had to endure "sterotypcasting" (which I'm pretty sure is redundant). But the idea that McNabb should run simply because he is a black quarterback is inherently "typcasting" or "stereotyping" him into a mold that is not best for the team or best for his game at this stage of his career. Playing within a system that is best for his team's success and his health and productivity makes perfect sense and in my mind cannot be construed as belittling to anyone.

I think on some level I just do not understand Mondesire's argument. He claims that McNabb cited the idea that black quarterbacks should run as a reason that he no longer scrambles as much. There is no way that is accurate. Even though I am no fan of McNabb he is without a doubt a fierce competitor as is his coach Andy Reid. If either of them, who know infinitely more about football than Mondesire, thought that having McNabb run the ball more would help the Eagles win you can rest assured that he would. To suggest that it is some type of racial coup by McNabb to stop running is totally ridiculous and frankly shows a lack of sports intelligence that should preclude Mondesire from publishing his musings on the subject in a public forum. The Eagles under McNabb and the current management have had enough success to be beyond this type of reproach from ignorant, agenda laden, and misinformed critics, regardless of their stature within their own organization, be it the NAACP or any other.

There are those that would criticize McNabb's play and sadly in this country there are still those that would criticize his race but those criticisms cannot be piggy-backed together. In fact, the only thing racist about this argument is the fact that Mondesire tried to tie the two together. Any correlation between expected athletic performance and race is discrimination against the athlete regardless of who we are talking about. You would think that the head of an organization charged to fight against discrimination against blacks in all forms would know better and would be able to see the larger picture in what he was saying.

But hey, what can you expect, the man does work for a group that still contains the word "colored" in the name?

Welcome to the ACC

It has not been a banner week for Boston College sports. First an accepted invite to the Smurf Bowl in Boise, then a loss in basketball to highly ranked Michigan State in the Jimmy V. Classic, and finally Sunday night's loss at #21 Maryland to open ACC play.

The status report on Tuesday morning shows the football Eagles still punching tickets to Boise and the hoopers on a free-fall down the rankings from 6th to 13th.

Let's start with Sunday's game. It's as if the schedule makers had a sense of humor when slating BC's first ACC game at probably the toughest place to play in the conference. The Maryland faithful are like nothing the Eagles have seen in the Big East and the Conte Forum fans should take notes on how to impact a basketball game.

That being said the Eagles were considered the better team coming in to the matchup. It just never really played out that way. Maryland consistently led and while the Eagles always came back to pull within a handful the Terps always answered, leading by 3 four times in the early going of the second half.

Maryland's dominance but inability to pull away prompted the NESN's color man to say, "Maryland seems like they should be ahead in this game by a lot, but BC has a way of somehow keeping themselves in it."

After BC briefly took the lead 51-49 the game went back and forth the rest of the way leading to 5 lead changes and ultimately the agonizing conclusion. After BC played "foul game" to extend the clock the game seemd to be in hand for the Terps when they led 73-68 with 8 seconds remaing. Then Tyrese Rice hit a running 3 pointer to pull the Eagles within 2. With the game on the line Maryland inexplicably failed to get the ball in bounds, rolling it across the paint untouched and out of bounds on the other side giving BC renewed life. With 2.2 seconds BC took the ball out of bounds from the left corner of their end needing a basket to force overtime but like Maryland they threw the ball away, sending it down the court untouched all the way to the other baseline before a Maryland player caught up with it.

After the conclusion the Maryland fans stormed the court mistakenly thinking that they had defeated the #6 team in the country when they had really just defeated an overrated team in over its head in the hostile confines that come with ACC road games.

One of the major issues in this game as well as the Michigan State game was free throw shooting. The Eagles shot an abysmal 5-15 (33%) from the line. Jared Dudley went 0-4, mostly down the stretch with the Maryland student section clearly affecting him. After his misses he would pace around and glance up at the raucous students only giving them more fervor. Maryland on the other hand shot 19-29 from the line. A 14 point differential in free throws will be more than enough to bury a team everytime.

BC's first team All-American Craig Smith filled up the stat sheet with 23 points, 12 rebounds, 5 assists, and 3 steals. However, once again he vanished down the stretch, this time because he fouled out with .57 seconds to play, his last foul coming on an out of control drive to the basket where he clearly should have pulled up and shot a jumper. Once again he was unaware of time and score, a player of his alleged caliber knows that his team cannot afford to lose him in a close game with a minute to play and avoids contact, Smith has yet to realize that. All 5 of his fouls came in the second half. As per usual his last basket came with over 6 minutes left to play. On the defensive end he was torched by Ekene Ibekwe for 21 points.

Smith's front court mate Jared Dudley struggled in what was likely the harshest environment he has ever played in scoring only 12 points on 6-15 from the field and the afore mentioned 0-4 from the line. I do not hold Dudley too accountable for his play, watching the game you could see the passion as he threw his body around. He was playing harder than anyone else out there and it was obvious, his shots just were not going down. The only play that I take issue with came when BC was down 71-67 with 11 seconds to play. Dudley launched a 3 from the corner that missed everything by a long margin. He needs to know in that situation that the outside jumper just is not working for him and either pass off to a better shooter or take it to the basket and force contact.

Similarly to Smith time, score, and situation seem to be an issue for Dudley and for the team as a whole. Trailing 70-67 with 30 seconds to play Rice failed to foul D.J. Strawberry, one of Maryland's questionable throw shooters for almost 9 seconds, deciding instead to play straight up defense. Louis Hinnant finally came over from the far side and stopped the clock with 21 seconds remaining. Rice simply was not aware that Maryland no longer had to shoot the ball as the shot clock was off and that every second that ticked off was precious time BC needed to mount a comeback. Al Skinner needs to do a better job of preparing his team for late game situations or his team will continue to struggle in these pressure packed ACC matchups that almost always come down to who executes the best in the clutch.

The next 5 games for the Eagles should all be cupcakes, giving them an opportunity to figure out the missing pieces before their next ACC road game at Georgia Tech on January 8th. Checking on the B-Slant's predictions:

They'll probably start out strong (no worse than 5-1 against Dartmouth,
Shawnee State, Buffalo, Drake, Oklahoma State / TCU, and Sacred Heart) but won't blow any of those teams out. They'll stay in low teens in the rankings. Smith
will be averaging 16 points and 6 rebounds per game. Their defense will be stout
(but not great without Williams) but their offense will be stagnant.Then they'll
play the top 5 worthy Michigan State team and get demolished by 30 on ESPN.
They'll fall after that game to somewhere in the mid to high teens. Then 5 days
later they'll lose to Maryland in a relatively close, boring game at Maryland
and fall in the rankings to the high teens or low twenties. Smith will have one
good and one awful game in those two, keeping his averages the same and showing the country that he was not worthy of the pre-season All American status.

Sure they did not get blown out by Michigan State and there is no way that playing in College Park, Maryland in front of those fans could ever be boring but otherwise I'd say I was pretty close. Smith is averaging 16.4 points and 8 rebounds instead of 16 and 6. Proving yet again that even the worst prognosticators (I am a terrible one) can predict the outcome of major Boston College sports.

Which leads me to my next point. Why are they so predictable? In light of BC's bid to the Potato Bowl a raging debate amongst students, alums, and Bostonians has begun about the reasons BC has ended up in such a disappointing spot for an 8-3 team. Among many opinionated folks the blame is squarely placed on the shoulders of athletic director Gene DeFillipo, an almost cartoonish character in the BC community. I think that ultimately this is accurate but only in a trickle down effect.

The real blame for this bowl bid belongs to Tom O'Brien, but his continued tenure as head coach is DeFillipo's fault. As a fan of any sport there will always be decisions that make you scratch your head and say, "What the heck was he thinking?" However, when something develops, like an obviously necessary change at quarterback from Quinton Porter to Matt Ryan, and every fan seems to know what needs to be done and the coaching staff does not then you have a problem. Fans are fickle, often wrong, and of course know less about the game than the coaches, but this time we were all right and everyone but O'Brien and his staff knew it. That type of shortsightedness is what is holding this program back and has been for the duration of O'Brien and his offensive coordinator Dana Bible's tenure at BC.

You have to give them credit, they have changed the football landscape in Chestnut Hill but their philosophy of conservative play calling and old school football has taken the Eagles as far as they can go. The only way for this team to break out its middle of the pack mold would be to bring in a new coaching philosophy. The academic standards are not getting any easier so the talent will improve only marginally as BC enters the ACC so the only logical thing to change is the archaic and stubborn coaching staff.

In addition to the problems with their philosophy quite possibly O'Brien's greatest failure as a coach is his inability to get his team ready to play every week. Yes, they have had some great wins under his leadership but every year they completely fail to show up against an inferior opponent. The players have changed over several times and the trend continues so the only person to blame is the only person still invovled, the coach. Failure to have your team psychologically ready to play every game is an inexcusable coaching weakness and for the past 2 years it has cost the team and the fans dearly. Instead of a BCS bowl last year and a southern bowl this year the Eagles have received bids to essentially 2 road games in Charlotte against UNC and in Boise against Boise St.. With predictable wins over Syracuse and UNC BC is a different program all together and the inability to make those steps should be enough to see the removal of Tom O'Brien.

While I am no great fan of Gene D.'s, he cut 2 teams that I had personal connections to in my time at BC (water polo and lacrosse) and the feeling was that my team (swimming) was next on the chopping block, you have to give him credit for 2 things. He has courage and vision. He sees the ACC in the big picture and knows that it is a better athletic league and long term it will be beneficial at least to the big time sports to play under brighter lights. He read the writing on the wall and saw that the Big East was heading down in a hurry and made the necessary moves to avoid going down with the sinking ship. This year 8-3 in the ACC is much more impressive than 10-1 in the Big East would have been. Many AD's would have feared the alienation from the league, the press, and all type of nay-sayers. DeFillipo saw through that potential and pulled the trigger on what will be in the end one of the most important moves ever made for BC athletics.

That being said, if his vision is limited to gradeur in the ACC then he will continue to contribute to the problem with the football and basketball programs. The MPC Computers Bowl is not his fault but if he allows Tom O'Brien to continue to strangle this program with his tight fisted conservative attitude the resulting continued mediocrity will be on his head. He needs to look inward to solve this problem and to avoid its recurrance rather than outwardly blaming the southern bowls for passing BC over and the ACC for not forcing their hand.

In addition to DeFillipo the other scapegoat for the Smurf Bowl seems to be BC's apathetic fans. Can you really argue with this? The games are half empty at kickoff, the fans are quiet in comparison to other ACC programs, and the passion simply does not resonate from Alumni Stadium. This problem is 2-fold.

1. Much of a college's fan base is made up of alums. Most of BC's alums attended the school in the days when the football program was hardly the success it is today. They attended the school in an apathetic environment due to the lack of a competitive program and their apathetic attitude persists even now that the team is competitive. They, as much as the students show up late, leave early, and focus on tailgating. These older fans should allegedly be leading the fan base by example, if they fail to do so how do you expect 20 year old kids to lead the way?

2. BC football exists in spite of a repressive environment set upon it by the school and the community. Chestnut Hill hates the BC football program. The town hates the traffic, the noise, the drinking, and everything involved with big time college sports. They actually refuse to issue the school a permit to hold games on campus for the whole season. Each Monday after a game day the school meets with the town and after the meeting they decide whether the town will issue a permit to the school for the next game. Thus, the absurdly short tailgating hours, the excessive pressure on the fans by the police, and the no-tolerance attitude surrounding the whole event. Fans that fight through traffic for hours to park on their $5000 Shea Field parking spaces do not want to be pestered and hustled off the field by mounted police half an hour before game time. The 2 hour pre-game rule is absolutely absurd and is I think the main reason that the stadium stands half empty at kickoff. Fans want to enjoy the whole spectacle of the game which includes tailgating and they want to feel as though they are getting their money's worth for the absurd parking space fees, grills, food, and beer. After sometimes less than an hour after traffic etc. fans begin to be nagged by the unending arrogance of the BCPD but do not feel ready to pack it up and head in. Extend the tailgate to 4 hours and almost surely the stadium will be fuller and rowdier than ever.

That will probably never happen, but it should be something that Gene D. is willing to work on rather than his political maneuverings. There are problems as the Heights for sure, and if Gene D. proves unwilling or unable to fix them then it's time to say, "Thank you, but like Tom O'Brien you can only take us so far," and close the door on this chapter and move forward. Maybe then we will see a less predictable product on the field and on the court.

Week 14

After the Patriots scored their last offensive touchdown yesterday WBCN radio broadcaster Gino Cappeletti said, "It's 28 to nothing and the Patriots are just absolutely dismantling the Buffalo Bills in this game."

That may have been an understatement. The '05 Patriots looked more like the '03 team in their 35-7 shellacking of the slowly-coming-unglued Buffalo Bills. With the win they moved into position to clinch the AFC East yet again and were only delayed in so doing by Miami's shocking victory in San Diego.

The turning point in this game came early when the Bills had a 1st and goal from the 9 yard line after a 59 yard pass from J.P. Losman to Lee Evans. After 1st and 2nd down moved the Bills backwards to the 22 Losman flipped his third down pass softly into the end zone where it was easily intercepted by Asanti Samuel. On the ensuing posession the Patriots drove 80 yards with ease and Brady capped the drive with his first touchdown run of the season from 3 yards out. From that point on it was never a contest.

Tom Brady played probably his best game of the season despite a banged up knee and snowy conditions, throwing for 329 yards and 2 touchdowns. Corey Dillon once again topped the 100 yard mark and as a team New England rushed for 159 yards. 8 different receivers caught passes and 6 caught more than 2 as the offense racked up a season high total of 494 yards.

Even the defense looked like the Belichick teams of old allowing only 184 total yards including only 14 rushing yards. J.P. Losman was smothered all day, completing just 10 of 27 passes for 181 yards and 3 interceptions (70+ of those yards came on the Bills' only touchdown during 4th quarter garbage time). The defense also did something they had yet to do this season, they scored a touchdown.

All in all the team played their most complete game of the season, totally controlling both sides of the ball. Of course we cannot get too excited about this win since it came against a Buffalo team that has now lost 6 of its last 7 and was offically eliminated from the playoffs yesterday. However, winning on the road in December in the snow is no easy task regardless of the opponent. Just like I said last week at this time of year taking care of business and getting into the playoffs is all that matters.

Don't look now but the Patriots have won 3 out of 4 and 5 out of 7 and have just now played their best game from start to finish. The key in the NFL has always been to peak at the right time, the Patriots have yet to peak this year but if they were to do so the next few weeks would certainly be the best time to start moving in that direction. We will see if this game was simply an annihilation of an inferior opponent or a sign of things to come next week as the pesky Tampa Bay Bucs come to Foxboro to fight for their playoff lives. If the Pats can take care of business against a tough Buccaneers team hope will once again spring eternal in New England. I'm not talking Super Bowl, I'm just saying that some post season noise could be made.

The only negative that came out (or almost came out) of yesterday's game was the, "Oh my God no!" moment of the season for the Patriots, Tom Brady coming up limping. I've always said that the X factor in this team's guaranteed trip to the playoffs is the health of number 12 and for just a moment I thought that the X had landed. The team has said that the injury is nothing major but the lump in my throat when he came gimping off the field was tangible. This particular injury may not be serious but it is indicative of a persistent problem with the Patriots. When you live and die by your quarterback he cannot be the most hit QB in football, it's just asking for the inevitable. Right now Brady is the most frequently knocked down signal caller in the NFL and Tampa's defense has a monster pass rush. They need to figure something out before next week so that the Pats do not see Brady limping off again, only this time not to return.

One odd note about this game. I have not talked to anyone else who watched the game on CBS 4 in Boston so I do not know if this happened to others or just to me. Throughout the game the sound on the broadcast constantly sounded like a skipping CD with regular hesitations and pauses.

"Br-- back to --ass, co---ete to Branch. To----own!"

This actually ended up being a good thing as Randy Cross' unendingly annoying commentary was regularly interrupted. Hopefully since next week's game has playoff implications for both teams a less than 12th string commentary team will be calling the game.

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Other NFL Stuff:

- Chicago Headline: "Bears Exposed as NFC Quality!" The line in the sand between the majors and AAA was drawn yesterday as the struggling Steelers smacked around the 2nd or 3rd best NFC team. It was snowing, muddy, and cold i.e. perfect Bears defensive football weather. Too bad they just are not that good. The vaunted defense certainly can beat up on a conference with 2 good offenses but when the ageless Jerome Bettis and an injured Ben Roethlisberger came to town they looked very ordinary, failing to force a single turnover.

Look at their 2 worst defensive performances of the season, 21 points to Pittsburgh and 24 points to Cincinatti, both AFC playoff contenders. Their best defensive performances: Detroit (6), Minnesota (3), Baltimore (6), San Francisco (9), Carolina (3), and Green Bay (7). The Carolina game is impressive, no question about that but the other 5 teams they've held to under 10 points are among the worst offenses in football. It's starting to seem as tough the NFC playoffs are once again a tournament to see who will earn the right to lose the Super Bowl.

And oh yeah, they scored 9 points and for the 6th time this season were held under 14. The calls for Rex Grossman get louder and louder. Why? Because the mediocre quarterback on the bench is always better than the mediocre quarterback on the field.

- I HATE the Giants, I mean really HATE them. I hate them because they are from New York, I hate them because they have Eli Manning, I hate them because I have had to watch them every week this season on Fox. That being said I was rooting with all my might for Jay Feely to make the game winning kick against the Eagles yesterday. Did I want the Giants to win? No. However, did I want to see Michael Strahan rip a 185 pound man limb from limb on national television? No. It would have been like the scene in Swingers when Mike calls the girl he met at the Dresdin 10 straight times, so uncomfortable and even though you know what is coming you still hope it will be different everytime, except for in this version Mike is thrown out the window by a giant black man after she answers and tells him to never call her again. Thank you for sparing me that feeling Jay Feely.

- On the other hand you have Lawrence Tynes. Oh Lawrence, your team improbably drove 55 yards in 18 seconds to give you a shot at a game tying 41 yard field goal at the end of regulation and you shanked it. The snap was not great but the holder got it down and in the NFL 41 yards should be a chip shot. If you want to make the playoffs in the AFC you simply have to make that kick. If I were a lesser writer I'd make a joke about Dick Vermeil crying about the missed kick right now. Maybe something like, "The only thing that could make Vermeil cry harder than that miss is the Bridges of Madison County."

- Sure the Colts won yesterday against the Jaguars, but what the heck happened to their defense in the last 6 minutes? David Garrard just shredded them, not once but twice for touchdowns plus a 2 point conversion. Now if the Colts go undefeated I will wonder forever what would have happened if the Jags could have covered Dallas Clark just one more time. If I had not already declared that I was not going to say anything nice about the Colts for the rest of the season I would have to point out that the 3rd down conversion to ice the game was a gutsy call and a clutch play.

Despite the Colts victory there was a relatively silver lining yesterday from Tony Dungee. To me his press conference sounded like he was setting us up to announce that he is shutting down the starters after next week with all his talk about the Super Bowl and how 16-0, "would be nice." The Colts obviously don't want to lose to a conference team next week against San Diego but the game in Seattle will be totally meaningless to Indianapolis and will mean everything to the Seahawks, will Manning be on the pine? Come on Tony don't choke on a chance for history, play Manning and lose to Seattle the right way.

Dream Scenario: The Colts run the table, the Pats beat the Jaguars at home in round 1 and then in Indy Rodney Harrison comes back on crutches and single handedly destroys Manning's psyche just by stepping onto the field in uniform and New England wins 45-7. A man can dream can't he?

- Does Dom Capers not realize that he's not going to be around next season to coach Reggie Bush? If he does why would he tell his kicker that he'll treat to Friendly's after the game if he misses a 31 yard game winner by more than 50 feet, thereby keeping the Texans headfirst in the Bush. (Sorry...)

- Speaking of Reggie Bush, has there been a player coming out of college recently that has had this much hype? Of course I think that he's going to be a great pro, but what if he isn't? Will we remember all of this talk about puposefully missing field goals and losing games to get him or will he just go into the Charlie Ward Hall of Fame?

- San Diego Headline: "Brees, Gates, McCardell - Good Players, Nothing Without L.T." The Chargers proved yesterday that they will go exactly as far as Tomlinson takes them. With bruised ribs and probably some year long wear and tear this year's league MVP (don't try to talk me out of this, it's a fact) only managed 75 yards and the Chargers were beaten by the resurgent Miami Dolphins. The halftime speech last that Nick Saban gave last week in Buffalo must have been something impressive because the Fish have played like a team possessed since. If L.T. isn't 100% you can stick a fork in San Diego, they're done.

One question about this game. The on side kick by the Chargers at the end of the game was ruled to be recovered by the Dolphins, but at the end of the unpiling of the scrum a Chargers player was holding the ball. How does this happen? If he has the ball does that not mean that he recovered it? If not how did he get it? Doesn't the definition of possession basically come down to who is holding the damn thing? I guess not.

- The Broncos beat the Ravens 12-10. Huh? I thought the Broncos were a Super Bowl contender. The actual headline about this game on ESPN.com "Flat Broncos manage narrow win v. hapless Ravens." I guess this one won't be an Instant Classic or an NFL Films Greatest Moments will it? Is there another program for games like these, "Insomniac Treatment Sporting Events" perhaps?

- Brooks Bollinger set a record for rushing yards in a game by a Jets quarterback yesterday with 56. He also set a record for worst NFL quarterback to have any kind of positive record ever. They beat the Raiders 26-10. This raises the question: If an Oakland Raider falls in the woods an no one is there to hear it, does it make a sound? That random gunfire you hear is the friendly fans in Oakland hunting Norv Turner.

- The longest win streak in the NFL not including teams quarterbacked by salad bar groupies: your Minnesota Vikings. They are now 1 game behind "The Greatest Defense Ever Assembled that Can't Beat an AFC Team." Further proof that a possibly illicit gang bang on a boat and an injury to your best player is all it takes to send a team straight to the top of a crappy division.

The Hot Stove

Can someone please tell me who is pirating this Red Sox ship these days, because GM by committee is starting to look a little bit like closer by committee, i.e. not good.
A few weeks ago I'm on here saying that it's okay that the Red Sox traded Hanely Ramirez because if he were as good as everyone was predicting they never would have signed Edgar Renterria for 40 million. Now this week they have traded Renterria for Andy Marte, a minor league third baseman from Atlanta and the Sox are paying 11 million of Renterria's remaining salary.

Um...guys...now that you've traded your best infield prospect and your shortstop I just have one question... Who the hell is going to PLAY shortstop? If Alex Cora just popped into your head you need to seek professional help.

Don't get me wrong, Reterria was awful last year and the majority of me is happy that he's gone but a tiny part of me looks at his career stats and thinks that maybe paying another team 11 million dollars to take him off of our hands after just one season is a tad premature, especially with no back-up plan. I think it's safe to say that the Sox soured on Edgar in a hurry.

The thinking by...whoever did this must be along one of two lines. 1: He is no longer the player he was in the NL and that what we saw last year is what he has become. Or 2: He would never have become comfortable in Boston and thus would never have been able to produce under the pressure.

It's a great move IF you can get someone better to replace him. Don't even mention the names Alex Gonzalez (he could not bat his way out of a room full of baseballs) or Julio Lugo (24 errors to Edgar's 30 with less pop, not an upgrade) to me, in my mind those are not options. This is Boston, guys like that get eaten for breakfast in this town. Talk to me about trading for Miguel Tejada (he wants out of Baltimore...Manny for Tejada?) or tell me about bringing back Pokey Reese (at least we know he can play here).

Important Sidenote: We all know that another ex-Red Sox shortstop is available, but that is NOT going to happen. I repeat NOT going to happen, forget it. Remember when he refused to play in the Bronx while Jeter was leaping face first into thorn bushes and burning buildings to catch foul balls?

I'm not crazy about the idea of moving 22 year old Dustin Pedroia into the limelight either especially since he has been groomed as a second baseman and has not really played shortstop since college. The upside of that idea is that you already have him for free.

The fact is we can speculate all day but in reality we have no concrete idea who will be playing the most important infield position next year.

The other question is what exactly did they buy for that 11 million? By all reports Marte (right) was the maquee prospect in the Braves organization and should be one of the future starts of the league. Everything I've read on him calls him a "throwback" third baseman. I have no idea what that means but he seems to have good power numbers, a strong arm, and huge potential. If he develops into the star the experts say he will be the Red Sox will have come out of this deal on top by a long shot. The question is will he be ready to play next year and if so what do you do with the excess baggage of Mike Lowell? Move him to first? Take him out back and shoot him?

Imagine this opening day infield, Marte at third, Pedroia at short, Cora at second, and Lowell at first. I'll be losing some sleep over that image for a while.

While it's clear that this was a financial move what did it open up space for? They offered Damon arbitration so hopefully they were allowing space for his contract, and they did just take on Lowell's 7 million per year but it doesn't feel like they are done to me. It looks like the pieces are being laid out for a blockbuster at some point in the near future like these are the warning shots before the actual attack.

Am I offically allowed to be worried yet? I'm a great fan of procrastination but it's December and we don't have a shortstop or a GM. Call me crazy, but I think we should have both by the time spring training starts in February.

Now for my weekly plea: Don't trade Manny, please please God in heaven don't let them trade Manny. If the opening day lineup card reads: Damon, Cora, Nixon, Ortiz, Varitek, Marte, Pedroia, "left fielder", and Lowell I will stick a screwdriver into my neck. Please please don't trade Manny.

20-0? I think NO.

In the closing seconds of last night's 77-70 victory over Boston College the Michigan State bench was all smiles, hugs, and handshakes. They thought they had just knocked off the #6 team in the country. Tom Izzo knew different.

"This was a step. How big a step? It's too early to tell."

At Madison Square Garden, in front of a largely Spartan-friendly crowd Michigan State proved that BC lacks the size the quickness to defend both good perimeter shooting and solid interior play. After a back and forth first half the Spartans quickly siezed control in the second half with an 18-4 run and an impressive shooting display. At the 7:00 minute mark in the second half the Spartans had missed exactly one shot since halftime and finished the half shooting over 77%. The Eagles responded to pull within 2 at 69-67 but were buried in the end by clutch free throw shooting by the Spartans. Down the stretch they made them all and for the game made 15 of 18 never opening the window for BC to pull within one possession.

Jared Dudley played well for BC scoring 23 points, most of which came in crunch time. His first team All American (scoff) teammate Craig Smith on the other hand was invisible throughout the second half. He scored 17 of his 18 points in the first 27 minutes of the game and was unable to beat Paul Davis one on one with 3 minutes to play and the Eagles trailing by 5. Davis, a good player, is not going to make anyone's NCAA all-defensive team. A first team All American should dominate him without help from the middle, Smith could not.

Over the first 7 games Smith seems unable to handle the defensive attention that opponents are paying him without the assistance of Shawn Williams in the middle. John Oates is hardly providing a second interior presence and until Williams returns the lack of a "true" big man will continue to put added defensive attention on Smith. This should not be a suprise, Smith while a shifty player with massive strength is only 6'8" and will not command the interior and be able to manage double teams from players with several inches on him. He scored his last basket last night at the 12:53 mark in the second half. A first team All American does not wilt on national television against a highly ranked opponent with Paul Davis on him when his team is trailing. If this team is to deserve a ranking anywhere in the neighborhood of #6 Smith is going to have to play better when the game is on the line.

No reasonable basketball observer can be surprised that BC lost this game. Michigan State had 2 losses coming in to the contest but one was against a top 10 team in Gonzaga and they already had a win against another top 10 team in Arizona. They were certainly more tested whereas BC had "earned" their top ranking by not losing to inferior competition while teams ranked ahead of them did so. Not to mention the Eagles, in both football and basketball, always lose this game. "This" game being a big early season game on a national stage which they have a chance to win but don't ultimately proving that they are still one step from elite (see Florida State).

You cannot take anything away from Michigan State's second half performance. They took the bull by the horns and shot the lights out scoring 51 points after only managing 26 in the first half. If you look at the box score the Spartans clearly outplayed the Eagles on the offensive end shooting 53.8% to BC's 46.9%. From beyond the arch Michigan State connected on 46.2% while the Eagles managed to only hit on 30%. And in perhaps the most important statistical category the Spartans hit 83.3% of their free throws while BC made just 66.7% (18-27).

On the positive Al Skinner's team proved that they can, at the very least hang in there with a top caliber team, even one that shoots 77% for the second half. Also the Eagles showed great resiliance in making a run to come back from a 54-41 defecit with 9 minutes to play and a 65-53 defecit with 5 minutes remaining. Had Michigan State missed some free throws or if another three pointer had dropped for BC (like Dudley's at 3:02 with the score 67-61) they would have been in a position to win this game, which is more than I expected. Frankly, I thought that they were going to get blown out of the building in this one, at least we can take something out of that not being the case.

I think what we learned from this game is that Michigan State was a bit underrated at #14 due to their murderous schedule over their first few games and that BC was a bit overrated at #6 due to their easy schedule and the teams ahead of them falling off. In the end we won't know much about this BC team until we get into the arduous ACC season which begins on Sunday in College Park, Maryland against Gary Williams and the Terrapins.

One quick sidenote: This game was played for the V. Foundation for cancer research, named after the late Jim Valvano. Every year one of Valvano's closest friends ESPN color man Dick Vitale gives a speech at halftime of the second game about the foundation and his deceased friend.

This year as Vitale started his comments a smattering of boos was heard throughout Madison Square Garden. That is absolutely deplorable. We all know that Dickie V. is a Duke homer and sometimes irritatingly over enthusiastic but that does not change the fact that he is a man who lost a friend and wants to do something to help erradicate a terrible disease. Largely due to his influence the V Foundation stays in the forefront of people's minds long after Valvano's death and as a result they have raised over 50 million dollars for cancer research.

Boo him all you want at ACC road games when he is brown nosing Coach K and J.J. Reddick, but when he is post-humously giving homage to a great and inspirational figure like Jimmy V. allow the man his piece. It's so obviously cathartic for him to get on stage and make a statement about his friend and this cause that to attempt to besmirch it is childish and embarassing. We are all better than that.

I'm Going to Boise! WoooHooo!

Let's talk Boise, Idaho. For a mere $900 you can be a part of the undoubtedly huge contingent of BC faithful that will make the pilgrimage to the "City of Trees" (I kid you not) to watch the Eagles tangle with the local Boise St. Broncos on their home blue field (where they are 31-0) in the MPC Computers Bowl.

For your $900 the BC travel package certainly makes it worth your while. You get 2 nights in a hotel, a ticket to the game in the BC section, and a pre-game tailgate! Now why would you want to spend your money anywhere else, like on an week long all inclusive trip to Puerto Vallarta, Mexico ($750 per person) or on a 20" Aquos LCD TV ($799), or maybe 10 tickets to a Patriots home game ($89 each) when you can spend 3 days and 2 nights in style in beautiful Boise in December?

For those of you who consider flying to Idaho for the weak and uninclined you best start packing the car. After departing from Boston you will pull into Idaho after 39+ riveting hours on the road, each of which is more exciting than the last! Among the highlights, a 1175.6 mile jaunt on route 80 spanning the entirety of Iowa, Nebraska, and Wyoming. But fear not from there it's only another 350 miles until you hit paydirt.

Now aside from the obvious attractions in Boise, including the Prairie Dog Playhouse and their lovely staff (see right) PDPLAYHOUSE, the main reason you would journey to Idaho would be to see the game itself. Of course this is THE bowl that the BC team and its fans circled at the beginning of the season. Tom O'Brien was actually quoted as saying, "The Gator Bowl would be nice but to be honest I'd rather play essentially another road game against an unranked Boise St. team on their bright blue home field where they have never lost a game on December 28th in Boise." BC MVP Matthias Kiwanuka said, upon hearing of BC's invitation to play in Boise, "Coming from Africa you hear about New York, Boston, San Francisco, and Chicago but the name that really captures the hearts of the children is Boise, this is a dream come true."

Lee Corso ACTUALLY (hold the sarcasm for a second) picked this game as the best non-BCS bowl game of the season, and College Football News picked it as the 4th best bowl of the year. So theoretically the game itself should be interesting, and at the very least you know you are going to be one of the coolest people to ever set foot in Boise, Idaho.

In all seriousness we have Florida State and Virginia Tech to thank for our pending trip to Boise. Had the ACC Championship game gone as planned, i.e. a blowout by Virginia Tech then the BCS bid would have gone to the Hokies and the Eagles would have won the second bowl selection with their 3 losses compared to Florida State's 4 (in conference) which would have sent them the Gator Bowl against Louisville. The Seminoles would then be in the MPC Computers Bowl and their fans would be over-running Boise on the 28th, drinking on the street outside of their liquor stores and generally being rowdy and southern all over town. Those lunatics would travel to Boise, now on the 28th the crickets in the "City of Trees" will be heard coast to coast.

The one thing that should be driving us crazy (for 39 hours from Boston to Boise) is that if BC had beaten North Carolina (i.e. if Tom O'Brien could coach his way out of a paper bag) we'd all be planning New Years in Florida, for a lot less than $900.

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In other BC news the 6th ranked mens basketball team faces their first real test (since beating powerhouse Drake by 3...) in the Jimmy V. Classic against #14 Michigan State tonight at Madison Square Garden.

The Eagles are 6-0 but have struggled against some inferior competition to this point, while the Spartans have already dropped 2 games in the early part of their schedule. In a shocking beginning to their season Michigan State lost by 22 to Hawaii in what was supposed to be a warm-up for the Maui Invitational. Since then they have a quality win over #8 Arizona and were involved in the game of the year so far, a triple overtime thriller against #9 Gonzaga. The Eagles, while still undefeated lack a quality win and have had a real scare against Drake (3 points, Drake is I-AA) and were given a game by Sacred Heart (11 point margin). Both games were at home.

This one should be interesting as both teams are looking to prove something. BC is trying to make a statement that they deserve their #6 ranking and Michigan State wants to show the world that their early season struggles were just an aberration. It should be a good one. The game is on ESPN at 9:00.

Week 13

"So this is what it's like to get close to a QB..."

In the NFL there is nothing like a visit from the Jets, who actually have more players (10) on injured reserve than the Patriots (9) to make your defense look effective. The Patriots were hardly impressive on Sunday, beating quite possibly the worst team in the NFL on this side of Texas by a slim margin of 16-3. But it's still a W and one step closer to the illustrious AFC East title.

Last week I wrote that I had watched the entirety of the Saints v. Jets game on Sunday night and had subsequently written to the NFL demanding 3 hours of my life back. After watching yesterday's game if I was not a Patriots fan I would be doubling that demand to 6 hours. This game was dull to say the least.

The conditions were bad, the Pats offense moved but hardly scored, the Jets offense (behind one of the worst quarterbacks I've ever seen professionally) could not even score a touchdown on the second worst defense in the NFL, and the announcers slowly devoured your ears with their innane commentary throughout. All in all, not a banner display for the NFL.

On the positive the defense did play better, albeit against utterly inferior competition, allowing only 164 yards of total offense (after allowing over 394 for the last four games) and holding the Jets to just 3 points. They mounted a consistent pass rush and the holes in the secondary seemed smaller, although much of that can likely be pinned on the ineffectiveness of Brooks Bollinger. The offense actually amassed good yardage numbers on the day with 397 yards of total offense despite thier inability to get the ball into the endzone. Also, the running game returned to form a bit with a committee of rushers combining for 146 yards. Were this game against anyone but the Jets it would have been an impressive performance. Regardless it is crucial to take care of business at this time of the season and that's precisely what the Patriots did, although not in terribly exciting fashion.

With an utter absence of highlights from this contest the only moments I can relate are instances of pure shock or amusement. In the first quarter the Jets tried a long pass down the left sideline intended for Keenan McCardell, Ellis Hobbs was on the "coverage". So there they are streaking down the sideline the ball is in the air McCardell is looking over his shoulder for it, eyeing it, making it painfully obvious that the ball has been thrown his way and Ellis Hobbs is just jogging along like he's out for a Sunday workout along the Charles not glancing back towards the pass or apparently even wondering if the ball had been thrown. The pass was badly overthrown but McCardell watched it the whole way, even as it skipped along the ground. Hobbs never saw it and probably to this moment is unaware that the ball was even thrown in his direction. Further proof of my theory that I'd rather be lucky than good.

The second moment came from CBS's color man Randy Cross. I don't know much about Randy Cross but he's going on the list of TV analysts who I cannot believe continue to find employment with major networks. This gem came from the second quarter. The Jets kicked the ball away to the Patriots who then committed two holding penalties on the return, one by Troy Brown. The Jets accepted the Troy Brown penalty because holding is penalized from the spot of the foul and Brown's offense took place further into their on territory than the other. After the referee finished announcing the call Cross wondered aloud, "Now why did they accept the one on Troy Brown, is it because he has seniority?" This was followed by an awkward five seconds of silence at which point the lead announcer took over and changed the subject and every football fan in America said to someone sitting next to them, "It's because holding is from the spot of the foul you ass!"

The next moment of note from this game was yet another liguistic foul up this time by the head referee. For the majority game he had this expression on his face that looked like a mixture of confusion and tired amusement, as though he found the calls he was delivering vaguely puzzling and humorous, especially the triple penalty (more on this later). On this particular play the Pats got to Brooks Bollinger and forced a wild throw to the right which was immediately flagged by an offical for intentional grounding, however, there was a receiver within the vicinity of the ball so the flag was picked up. This is how the ref explained it, "There is no intentional grounding on the play. The receiver was in the area... of the vicinity... of where the ball was thrown." Hmmm....

And finally, the triple penalty. This was one of those classic moments that makes you shake your head and wonder if it wouldn't be easier to take up knitting on Sundays instead of football. The play started out well with the Patriots recovering a Bollinger fumble. Then as the play ended it seemed as though every official on the field threw a flag at someone, there was yellow flying everywhere. The referees conferred for a few moments and then with nothing short of a smirk on his face the head referee delivered the news: a fifteen yard personal foul on the Patriots, a 10 yard holding penalty on the Patriots, and a fifteen yard personal foul on the Jets. By rule the penalties offset and it basically becomes a do-over. So, by rule 2 teams can account for 40 penalty yards on one play and they wipe it clean and say, "Eh, just try it again." What are we playing touch football at recess? It's as if the NFL doesn't want anyone to remember the ugly plays like that so they wipe them off the record and turn back time hoping we'll forget.

On a less ridiculous note as a result of this three field goals yesterday Adam Vinatieri is the new all time points leader in Patriots history, passing radio announcer Gino Cappeletti. The man has brought so much glory to this organization (despite the Papa Ginos, "It's good!" ads) that he deserves the be on the record books. For me, and fans of this generation he will always be the quintessential kicker for the Pats even if he were to retire today. He's already a legend and it's fitting that he should be so statistically as well.

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More NFL:

- Oh Buffalo.... A 21 point first quarter lead, a 23 to 3 halftime lead....over the Dolphins, that's right the Dolphins. You poor poor Bills fans. Remember when you came back to beat the Oilers in the '92 playoffs after being down 35-3 at the half? This was kind of like that (okay it's nothing like that...) except for unlike the '92 Bills the Dolphins are awful. However, like your comeback led by Frank Reich this comeback was led by Sage Rosenfels... ouch. With the win the Dolphins are now just 2 games back of the Patriots for the AFC East lead. Try to tell that to someone with a straight face. This more or less puts the division in the bag for the Patriots, they have to go to Buffalo next week but now their lead is 3 over the Bills and while it is only 2 over the Dolphins the fish have to come to New England later this month and Miami is notriously awful in Foxboro in Decemeber. Plan the parade for the champions of the "New NFC North"...

- As the scores ticked by on the bottom of screen yesterday I noticed that the Colts were only beating the Titans 7-0 with 4 minutes to play in the half. I then excitedly said, "Hey look, the Titans are hanging with the Colts!" Sometimes I have the intellectual capacity of a five year old.

12-0 and the misery continues. Next person that says, "If you are a legitimate sports fan you should be rooting for the Colts to go 16-0," will be forced to move to Indianapolis and actually cheer for Peyton "D-Caf!" Manning with sincerity. Don't you remember the face he used to make when things were going wrong, blaming all his receivers, pouting, and looking like a spoiled little snot? How can you cheer for that. You know if they go undefeated it's going to be like the scene in Kingpin when Bill Murray wins the million dollar bowling game. "I'm above the law! Screw Tom Brady I am SOOOOOOOO much better than him now and everyone knowwwwwsss it! Whhheeeee!!!"

- As much as I hate them I refuse to believe that the Colts are using mics in their dome to amplify crowd noise...unless Archie Manning is the one flipping the switch. Which raises the question, would he use the crowd noise on Eli if they met in the dome?

- In the best game of the day the Bengals beat the Steelers in Pittsburgh. This has to be the legitimizing win for Cincinnati. The rest of their schedule is laden with cupcakes and their road is paved to 12-4 and a first round bye. This was definitely capped by the, "How the heck did he catch that ball," play of the day. It's not describable just watch the highlight. Certainly a nice win for the Bengals but no celebration for Chad Johnson (and no fantasy points for me). I think we all needed a week off anyway, stop jinxing yourself Chad.

On the other side of the coin the Steelers may have cost themselves a playoff berth with yesterday's loss. There are only two spots up for grabs between the Chiefs, Chargers, Jaguars, and Steelers and right now Pittsburgh is sitting in the 8 spot, 2 spots out. Can you believe that the Patriots could possibly go 8-8 and play a home playoff game while 2 teams could go 11-5 and miss the dance? Is that parody or robbery?

One comedic moment about this game from NFL Primetime last night. Sean Salisbury said that he thought the defense was going to be the strength of the Bengals heading into the playoffs. Ah Sean, they just gave up 31 points to the Steelers with Roethlisberger throwing the ball without a thumb. I hesitate to call that defensive strength.

- Carolina stomped on the Falcons yesterday, screwing up my defensive fantasy points, and ending their losing streak to Michael Vick. I actually didn't see a single second of this game (the only NFC team I've seen play this year is the Giants, every week we get the "closest market" game and unfortunately since NY is so close I have to watch Eli 16 times a year) but the highlights made it look like an utter demolishing. It might be time to slide Carolina into that "favorite in waiting" spot so they can be the team to beat when Seattle loses their first playoff game.

- Ladanian Tomilinson was held without a touchdown yesterday for the first time since the dawn of man. What do you think the chances were that he circled the Raiders game on the schedule as the game in which he would lose his NFL record streak? Probably about as likely as the Colts circling the Cardinals game in week 17 as a "trap game."

- Ryan Fitzpatrick, all I'm going to say buddy is that I told you so. Always listen to the B-Slant, when he tells you to hang up, hang it up. I heard that he got this letter from Harvard this morning.

Mr. Fitzpatrick, we are writing to request that you stop embarassing this institution on national television. As you know Harvard has a certain reputation for success amongst its graduates and your failure to be competitive in your chosen field has cast a black mark against our unparalled record (don't mention the Una-bomber, he was in Montana so it doesn't count). Should you decide to continue to ruin the fantasy stats of Issac Bruce...I mean besmirch the heralded name of this fine university we will be forced to revoke your degree. Good day to you.

- The Vikings won their 5th straight game on the resurgent shoulders of Brad Johnson and are now 7-5 and tied for second in the Wild Card race. This is incredible, sure they haven't beaten the cream of the crop (Lions twice, Green Bay, Cleveland, and Eli) but from where they were it's damn close to a miracle. What if they make the playoffs, would you want your team to play them?

- Memo to Dallas Cowboys fans:

Welcome to Hell. Remember when the Cowboys signed Bledsoe and you looked up his stats, impressive weren't they. Remember when New Yorkers and New Englanders used to wail about those cripling interceptions? Now you know why.

Signed: Pats and Bills fans everywhere.

I would take credit for predicting this, but who didn't predict this?

- The Chiefs beat the Broncos at home proving once again that they can beat anyone at Arrowhead. Trouble is they won't get to play a game there in January. How upset will KC fans be that their Chiefs, after what they did to the Patriots last week, will have to come to New England for their Wild Card game? Doesn't seem fair does it? Guess what, I don't care.

- Last year Seahawks at Eagles would have been a great Monday Night game. Now it's a trap game for Seattle. You can't like Phili's chances against Shaun Alexander and a Seahawks team that only has to stay the course in the winnable NFC to get home field throughout. But then again, we are talking about Mike Holmgren...

- Next week's MVP: David Garrard...like I said, the intellectual capacity of a 5 year old.

One non-football note: the finish of the Duke game last night was incredible. Watching that crowd go crazy reaffirms my thought that Cameron is probably the best place to see a game college sports, maybe all of sports. Hate them if you want but that atmosphere cannot be topped.