Thursday, January 25, 2007

Is it Over?

I can't watch ESPN.

The NFL Network? Well that might as well be video of my own execution for as far as I'm concerned.

SI.com? Absolutely out of the question.

I flipped on sports radio 850 WEEI yesterday, they were talking about Vinatieri. I changed the channel.

Since Sunday I've lived in a self-imposed football free coccoon.

It's been four days and I'm still not ready to face the reality that the Patriots were eliminated one game short of the Super Bowl by the much heralded though marginally accomplished Indinapolis Colts.

If only it had been anyone else. If only we didn't have to find ourselves overwhelmed and inundated by Peyton Manning ball washing for the next two weeks, then maybe I would be a normal human being again by this point. Alas, I am not.

Thinking about the game still makes me angry. The name Reche Caldwell is banned from my ears, don't utter it near me lest my fury turn on you. I'm thinking of cutting up my MasterCard due to their involvement with that goofy nitwit that wears number 18.

Sadly I have learned that there are casual fans in this country who think things like, "Wow, I'm really happy for Peyton Manning, he seems like such a nice guy." And, "I like his commercials, espeically the one where he cheers for the regular people. Such a fine gentlemen and role model for our children." Really? Are you fucking insane? Did you forget that the role model himself sumarily threw his entire offensive line under the bus after last year's loss to Pittsburgh?

Is he a great quarterback? Yes. Was this victory on Sunday a coronation of him as the premier signal caller in the NFL, vindicated and freed from criticism through superior play? Absolutely not., He didn't win this game for the Colts, the Patriots, Tom Brady, Reche Caldwell, and Todd Sauerbrun gave it to him.

As Bill Simmons said on Monday, "We had it."

I think that's what makes it so difficult to accept. They should have won. In fact they had the game won. At the Colts 28 yard line, with less than three minutes to play in the first half, up 21-3 the Patriots had tickets to Miami punched. A touchdown
and the game is over. A field goal with no time left for the Colts to score at the end of the half and the game is probably still over. Yet that's not how it happened. A questionable offensive pass interference call, a bonehead penalty, and a sack pushed the Patriots out of field goal range and gave "D-Caf!" a shot to get back into it.

I'm a wildly sore loser. Anyone who knows me can vouch for that, and this week is no exception, I'm full of heinsight and bad intentions. I want Reche Caldwell to go down in the history books as the Bill Buckner of football. How do you drop a ball when you are so wide open that the announcers are screaming about no one being on your side of the field? Sure he might not have scored on that play, but where would he have been stopped, at the five, at the two? To say that play didn't cost them the game is grossly understating the importance of that drive. They ended up losing by four, a touchdown there instead of a field goad... well thanks again Reche.

As you can probably tell I don't know where to start. This is actually my third attempt at writing this. I started out thinking I would write a nice couple of paragraphs about how the Colts were the better team and, in a tremendously out of character move, I would try to be a good sport. I can't do that. I hate this Colts team and everything about it, especially it's quarterback too much. Then I thought I would write about how the we saw history on Sunday, as the Pats dynasty faded into the past. But as I started writing I became less and less convinced that was the case.

The result of those false starts is this meandering pointless post which may or may not get relegated to the deleted file soon after publishing.

I'm still unable to put into words how frustrating it is to lose a game to a hated rival when victory is so near. Now that I think about it, it's probably what the Colts have felt about the Patriots until this year. The problem for me is that it's not suppossed to be this way. We're used to winning that game, and while we have lost in the recent past, we have never lost the close game that hinged on clutch plays by dueling stars. Tom Brady has always been able to kill 3:30 with a three point lead. Bill Bellichick has always been able to pull out last minute defensive miracles against powerful offenses. They have always taken advantage of their chance to win in the end.

But not this time. It's like having your girlfriend let her ex shave her head randomly, you want to still like her, but how can you deal with the change and disappointment?

I have learned a few things from this experience though. There is nothing on TV during the day aside from ESPN. I can't even count the number of hours I've killed watching Family Guy and 24 dvds merely to avoid the possibility of seeing a Super Bowl preview on SportsCenter. I also learned I don't really go to any non-sports related web-sites, and God forbid I go to one of those now, lest there be a picture of a Dungy, Manning, Vinatieri circle jerk.

Random aside: do you think Vinatieri advertises for the regional pizza chain in Indiana and have they, like Papa Ginos did here, started calling all their non-pizza appetizers kickers?

So I guess the question is what do we do now? Well for one thing I need to think more about the dynasty and whether it's actually over. My initial thought was that it most certainly is done. Teams historically fall off dramatically in the sixth year after their first Super Bowl victory, (the Steelers and Cowboys both missed the playoffs) but do we really count that first one? They didn't even make the playoffs the following season. The real dynasty started after they won the second one in '03, which I guess would give us three more years of competitive teams. And with Brady and Bellichick still in their primes (at least Brady...eek) at the helm, will the fall off be that dramatic? I'm still not sure, but there will certainly be more about this coming later.

Another question: do I now root for the Bears? Worse, do I now have to put my Super Bowl hopes on Rex Grossman? I guess I do. I'm certainly not rooting for the Colts because if they win I will have to avoid all sports media outlets for another month while the world slowly washes Peyton Manning's ass crack and apologizes for calling him a choke artist for the last five years (when he was a choke artist, THE choke artist).

I absolutely loathe the idea of Indy winning a ring. I don't want them mentioned in the same breath as the Patriots of this decade, and while I'm no fan of the Bears either, I guess I'm throwing my hat in the ring for a repeat of the '86 Super Bowl Shuffle.

I guess that's it for now. I should get back to watching the Lifetime Movie Network anyway, they were starting to wonder where their one viewer went. More on the fallout, the Super Bowl, and the future of the Patriots coming soon.

Saturday, January 20, 2007

My List and My Preview

The following people are hereby deemed irrevocably stupid:

- Shawne Merriman: for chanting, "Brady sucks!" at a Chargers rally last week, as well as predicting a comeback by the Jets in their Wild Card game in Foxboro, and don't forget about juicing.

- Roosevelt Colvin: for being the catalyst for much of this post-game stupidity by yelling, "Lights out!" into the Chargers locker room after the game.

- Nate Harper: for being the guy to say the wrong thing just days before his team takes the field. "Yes I think we are in Tom Brady's head."

- Sean Salisbury: for everything.

- Jack Del Rio: for picking the Colts even though his team killed them in the regular season and then got killed by the Patriots at home.

- Jack Del Rio: for using the entire can of hair gel.

- Bill Simmons: for suggesting that the Patriots are the Yankees of the NFL. Here's why:
Yankees: largest payroll ever ever ever ever ever.
Patriots: 15 million under the salary cap.

Yankees: 0 world championships since 2000.
Patriots: 3 world championships since 2000.

Yankees: A-Rod.
Patriots: Ahhh....well Vinatieri missed on kick in Denver last year, does that qualify?

Yankees: at best, the sum of their parts.
Patriots: the consummate team.

Yankees: sign/steal the biggest name free agents available.
Patriots: turn low round draft picks into solid contributors.

Yankees: George Steinbrenner and Brian Cashman.
Patriots: Bob Kraft and Scott Pioli.

If anyone over the last six years has been the Yankees of the NFL it's the Colts. I don't even need to make the Peyton Manning / Alex Rodriguez comparison in terms of regular season production versus a lack thereof in the playoffs. They're both the highest profile teams in their leagues with a roster loaded with big names and flashy statistics, including the biggest free agent acquisition of last summer (Vinatieri) and it's amounted to nothing. They have an impressive streak of divisional titles and a growing resume of post season disappointment yet regardless of those repeated failures pundits everywhere are still inexplicably in love with them. They even have a big mouth moron executive driving the bus, just like Steinbrenner. Overall it's a much more apt comparison. Come on Sports Guy, you can do better than that 2000 words of obvious drivel.

Now that we have that established, on to the game itself.

I suppose I should throw in a passing word about the NFC Championship game, as the winner of the much over-hyped Patriots v. Colts matchup will have to face someone in the Super Bowl, although I hardly think it matters as the NFC is clearly the junior varsity division.

I would love to see the Saints win for a few reasons. First, I just don't like the Bears. I don't know if it's lingering animosity from the '86 Super Bowl, or the fact that I've never thought they were very good, or the Rex Grossman factor. Whatever it is I really don't care for them. Also, how can you root against the Saints? They play an exremely fun style of football, at least from a spectator's standpoint. They have the premier rookie in the league, the best quarterback in the NFC, the coach of the year, and they are the feel good sports story of the year by a wide margin.

That being said I don't know if I can pick them. The thing that scares me the most is the fact that it's going to be 25 degrees and windy in Chicago tomorrow and I'm worried about the impact that may have on the Saint's finesse offense. As good as they are in the passing game and on special teams they are pretty soft in the power running game and on defense which are the aspects of playoff football which usually rise to the top, especially in lousy conditions.

I hope that I'm wrong on this one but I see the Bears sneaking away with a low scoring victory and then getting absolutely killed in the Super Bowl. Should the Saints pull the upset (moderate) I think they have a much better chance than the Bears against either the Patriots or the Colts.

But really, for all intents and purposes the nightcap tomorrow is the Super Bowl. I know that's been said erroneously before, but do you really see either the Colts or Pats losing once they get past this game? Me neither.

So what's it going to come down to?

Obviously for the Patriots to win they need to get a heroic effort from their defense. Manning hasn't played well so far in the playoffs but hoping for three bad games in a row may be a bit of a long shot. New England must get to him early and often with big time physical pressure. They positively cannot let him get comfortable in the pocket and see down the field. It will be up to Richard Seymour and Ty Warren to come off the ends and bother his rhythm from the outset. If they can get into his head early we all know that he will start waving his arms and passing the blame for every incompletition by the middle of the second quarter. Everyone on the Pats D-line should watch the tape of the Steelers performance agains the Colts last year in the divisional round before they take the field.

In the secondary Hawkins and Hobbs need to play their best games of the season in order to slow down Marvin Harrison and Reggie Wayne. Hawkins, who will be matched up on Harrison may actually have the easier assignment here, as through the first two playoff games Manning has looked more to Wayne's side of the field (mostly because Harrison has been guarded by their opponents best cover corner) than he normally does. That will put the emphasis squarely on the shoulders of Ellis Hobbs. He needs to cover the short to medium range routes aggressively and rely on safety help if he gets caught biting on a move or a Manning pump fake. He can't afford to sit back and allow Wayne to move freely in the five to fifteen yard areas because that will allow for quick releases which would negate much of the Patriot pass rush.

A somewhat underappreciated aspect of this Colt offense is Joseph Addai. While he still technically shares carries with Dominic Rhodes the last few weeks of the regular season and the first two playoff games have been his coming out party so to speak. He has excellent burst up the middle, he gets to the edge fairly well, and he has shown recently that he can break a tackle or two, especially when defenders come at him high or with arm tackles. Just as importantly he is solid in the short passing game, to which Manning has been looking more this year than ever before.

While the Colts always had a reasonably successful running game with Edgerrin James in the past they were ususally unwilling to utilize it to it's fullest extent. That has not been the case so far this post-season as they have been allowing Addai and Rhodes to carry the offensive load as long as they are successful doing so ( see the second half against the Ravens). The Patriots need to be aware of the run more than in previous years because of this increased commitment to it.

Offensively New England cannot be fooled or intimidated by the allegdly new and improved Indianapolis defense. Success against the Ravens and Chiefs (not coincidentally against McNair and Green) does not a great defense make. Their run stopping ability is still questionable at best and unlike in the regular season the Patriots need to commit to using Maroney and Dillon for the entire game. They will find success against the Colts' front seven, and when they do Bob Sanders will have to come up from his safety position to help. When that happens this time the Patriots must take advantage by using play action to free up receivers down the field. In the regular season matchup New England gave up on the run entirely when Sanders started creeping up and they failed to use play action at all, they must learn from those mistakes if they want to win this game.

Obviously Tom Brady must play well for the Patriots to have a chance. He cannot repeat his performance from last week, nor can anyone else turn the ball over. Giving the Colts extra chances is always costly, especially if their offense starts clicking. Brady needs to manage the game and maybe more importantly the clock. Let's face it, the Patriots can't stop Indy for 60 minutes, at some point they're going to get rolling. The less they have the ball the fewer chances they have to score (duh) and a lot of that responsibility falls to number 12.

A quick start is imperitive for New England for several reasons. First, they need to take the RCA Dome crowd out of the game early. They mimick their quarterback's personality, meaning when things go bad from the start they tend to give up and quiet down. Brady plays well in domes but no one plays well when they can't hear anything. Second, the Patriots don't have the kind of offense that can generate big comebacks. Their passing game is predicated on at least marginal success in the running game, and their lack of a big downfield threat limits their ability to win shootout type contests. If the Colts get up early it could mean big trouble for the Pats, especially if Dwight Freeney and the rest of the Indy defense can forget about the run and just concentrate on Brady.

To be honest, I don't know what's going to happen tomorrow. I do think that it won't take much for Manning to start thinking about the ghosts again, but I wonder if the Patriots have the manpower to get him moving in that direction again. Either way, I see a close game, and that both encourages and scares the crap out of me. I'm encouraged because nobody is better in the clutch than Brady and Bellichick, and on that same token no one has been worse than Dungy and Manning. However, should the game remain close to the very end there is a certain number 4 waiting in the wings, but now he's on the other sideline. Adam Vinatieri is my worst nightmare in this game, if we see him trotting out with under a minute to play with a chance to win the game, even if it's from 60 yards out I think it's going in. He's be best clutch kicker ever (as we know) and I'm sure nothing would give him more pleasure than bouncing his former mates into the off season.

At this point I just want the damn game to get here already. Enough of the predictions and analysis, everything has been said. Just like last week I'm not making any predictions (worked well last time, why change?) but I will speculate that we are on the eve of one of the great games in NFL playoff history. Whatever way it goes, it will surely be an entertaining spectacle.

God help us all if we have to listen to two weeks of Manning ball washing should the Colts advance. I won't turn on a damn TV I swear it.

Thursday, January 18, 2007

Something Familiar

This hasn't been your typical post-season.

For the first time in a over a decade neither the one or two seed has reached the AFC Championship.

Scoring is down, despite the presence of only one truly great defense (Baltimore).

The Colts ARE playing defense.

Peyton Manning is throwing interceptions that AREN'T killing his team.

Tom Brady was outplayed by Phillip Rivers.

Rex Grossman, with one more victory could promote Trent Dilfer to the second worst quarterback to play in a Super Bowl.

The Saints are one win away from the Super Bowl. (And both ESPN pundits picked them to make it today.)

The class of the Patriots and Bill Belichick is being questioned by convicted cheaters.

What the hell is going on here?

Take a deep breath, it's okay, Marty Shottenheimer still managed to coach his team out of the playoffs despite having clearly the best team, and even more clearly the best player. Maybe the world isn't spinning off of its axis.

In the midst of this madness however, there is one current storyline, a pervailing theme if you will, that should ring familiar in New England and across the NFL. Everyone is picking the Colts over the Patriots in the AFC Championship game. Call me crazy, but I feel like we've been here before. Two years ago it was the electrifying Indy offense led by the unstoppable offensive magician Peyton Manning that were a sure bet to come into Gillette Stadium and humiliate the overmatched Patriots (the final was 20-3 New England in case you forgot). This time it's the Colts as a defensive minded team of destiny much like the Steelers of last year (despite the FACT that their defense stunk for 16 regular season games...) that will wave their magic wand and float along on fate's gently flowing wings to victory. Give me a break.

Every year the NFL, Manning's marketing army, Bill Polian, and ESPN come up with a bevy of reasons why the Colts will make it over the hump and vanquish their playoff failures with one ultimate and vindicating victory. But it never happens. Why should we all of a sudden forget all that we know of this team, and believe that this incarnation (which is probably the weakest of the last half-decade) will be able to accomplish what their superior predecessors have failed to do?

Furthermore why would we even begin to discuss this topic when lying before Indianapolis is their greatest nemesis. The team that has knocked them out of the playoffs two of the last four years, the team that has won three of the last five Super Bowls (to their big fat zero), the team that has been and done everything that they have not. Does recent history mean nothing?

Sure the Colts beat the Patriots at home this year by a touchdown, but has everyone forgotten the circumstances of that game?

Rodney Harrison got hurt on the third play of the game. Yes, the Patriots will likely be without him again this week, but this time they have had 12 weeks to get used to playing without him, that night that had one minute to do so.

The Patriots turned the ball over five times including four Tom Brady interceptions and they still only lost by a touchdown, and in fact had Kevin Faulk not volleyball-set a Brady pass directly into the hands of Bob Sanders with one minute to play there is a chance that New England would have tied the game.

Richard Seymour and Ty Warren were hurt, not so much that they were unable to play, but don't think for a second that their injuries didn't precipitate much of Manning's freedom outside of the pocket.

If those facts aren't enough for you consider this, how often does the same team beat the Patriots twice in one season?

And I haven't even started on Manning yet. To say that this game holds a great deal of pressure for him is analagous to saying that the climate on the surface of the sun is relatively warm. Manning NEEDS this game. He needs it to vanquish the ghosts of playoffs past. He needs it to silence, at least temporarily, his critics. He needs it to justify his whorish self promotions through grossly excessive advertising. He needs it to develop a legacy as anything other than a playoff bust. He needs it to even be mentioned with Brady, Montana, Young, and Elway as oppossed to Marino, Kelly, and Moon.

The window of opportunity for this Indy team is closing, and if he doesn't bring them through now it may slam shut on him forever. Given his history, why should we assume or even hope that he will rise to the occassion rather than wilt and pass the blame as before? He hasn't even played well in their victories this post-season, he's already choked, and choke he will again because that is who he is. I don't believe in him, and I won't consider him the elite quarterback ESPN and the NFL want him to be until he wins this game, and then does it again, and again, and again like number 12 in New England.

It's by no means a sure thing that New England will win on Sunday night, but if history holds true and all that we know to be comes to pass yet again there is no way that Manning rewrites the script this time.

I'll have a more football, less gut-feeling preview later in the week.


On that note I'd like to switch topics and declare that Bill Polian is a goat-fucking jackass. Sure I have no actual evidence as to Mr. Polian's penchant for beastailty and sexual deviance, but since he seemingly can say whatever the hell he wants and have it be so, why can't I?

"When you have blitzing teams and you allow that downfield stuff, such as what happened to (Colts wide receiver) Reggie Wayne, you’re going to limit offense. That’s the net of it. You encourage the power-running game, you discourage the passing game and if you’re limited to a running game, it’s rare that you can do what we did in the fourth quarter and take the game over with a power-running attack"...

"You went something like two-and-a-half games before a touchdown was scored? That’s not good, when the best teams play that way. That’s not good for the health of the game. I think that was certainly a contributing factor to a low-scoring game."

As you know this useless ass-bag thinks that blowing kisses at Colts receivers should be penalized with a 100 yard pass interference penalty and 25 point score adjustment, and that he should be the sole judge and jury of all things related to downfield passing infractions. In fact, in Polian's perfect world, there would be no defense allowed in the RCA Dome. Stepping off of the sidelines into the field of play while the Colts are in possession of the ball would be illegal and punishable by death.

Okay maybe I'm getting a little (a lot?) carried away here but the fact of the matter is this. Polian is already suggesting (and not very subtly) that he thinks the game should be called tighter. He's conditioning the referees to be predisposed to flag any and all contact on his receivers, thereby letting them run free under threat of huge (game changing) yardage penalties should they be obstructed (which of course is Indy's best chance to win). Normally this would just be idle musings from a loudmouth executive but in this case it's something more. After the Patriots trounced the Colts in 2003 Polian whined about the rough treatment his wideouts received in Foxboro, and that coupled with his substantial influence on the NFL Competition Committee resulted in the new downfiled illegal contact rules known, at least informally as the "Patriot Rule". Now, just days before kickoff Polian is using this preposterous statment to remind the officials that they don't want to end up in front of him and his committee in March. It's laughable and pathetic and leads to a troubling and hopefully avoidable conclusion.

This game is going to be the pinnacle of poor officiating. (Disclaimer: this is going to sound like I'm making excuses for the Patriots to lose, I'm not, if I know this going in then they do as well.) Not only has Polian poisoned their objectivity with this thinly veiled threat but it is hardly a secret that the NFL is DYING to get Manning into a Super Bowl. They already showed last year that they are willing to bend the rules to make that happen, even though it didn't work (recall the totally and obviously bogus reversal of Troy Polamalu's fourth quarter interception in the divisional round) and I can only hope that the transparency of that atttempt will force the officials to keep up the upmost appearance of propriety.

Last word on this (for today). Does Polian realize that some teams would rather take over a game with a power running attack, especially against his squad's extremely (until the last two weeks I guess...) porous run defense? Running the football is a part of the game and is a factor in the passing game. In fact, I think every team in the league would rather run the ball than pass if given the option. As the famous saying goes, "When you pass the football three things can happen and two of them are bad." Not to mention, does he think that people don't realize that every complaint he has centers on the Patriots? First it was the '03 officiating, then it was compensatory draft picks, then the field in Foxboro wasn't good enough, and now this. Clearly he shares Mannings attitude that winning is his right (Tagliabue and MasterCard told me so! Waaahhh!) and that anyone or anything that stands in his way must be illegal and should be changed or outlawed. This reeks of a frustrated group outraged by the success of the glamour and glitz free Patriots, as a couterpoint to their overwhelming and in their minds inexplicable failure. Maybe someone needs to remind Polian that they play the games on the field and that so far, despite the fact that the NFL has given in to him at every turn, his soft team led by his soft overrated quarterback has won exactly nothing.

Well look at that, I ranted myself right out of rage, I have none left for Roosevelt Colvin, Shawne Merriman, LT, or any of the other fools involved in that Patriots / Chargers post-game nonsense. More on that later.

Friday, January 12, 2007

An Open Letter To NC State

Congratulations to North Carolina State Football on your newly minted, shiny (or should I say scraggly) head coach Tom O'Brien.

As an alum and fan of his previous employer Boston College I have a few suggestions for you on how to maximize your enjoyment during the O'Brien era. Also I have some information on what you can and cannot expect from your new acquisition.

Always refer to coach O'Brien as T.O.B. He loves it and it saves key strokes and syllables which will give you more time to enjoy your football program's meteoric rise to mediocrity.

Never expect to go 3-9 again.

Never expect to be ranked higher than 15 nationally.

After next season you will play in a bowl game every year for the remainder of his tenure.

You may not have been aware but they play bowl games in places like Boise, Idaho. Awareness of that fact, and others much like it will be upon you shortly.

You will never play in a bowl game in Florida...ever.

Each year you will beat a team ranked quite a bit higher than you.

Each year you will lose to a team ranked quite a bit lower than you. This loss will likely punch your ticket to Boise or another equally desirable locale.

If T.O.B.'s tenure at NC State lasts for 10 years no less than twice you will be in position to clinch at least a share of a conference title with a victory in your final regular season game against an inferior opponent.

The Wolfpack will come out woefully underprepared for said game and will either: a. be blown out of the building by a huge margin, or b. T.O.B. will call such conservative plays (think alternating between inside handoffs and screens, even when trailing) that the game will be close but you will never have a legitimate chance to win.

Read the previous paragraph again to make sure it sinks in, you will NEVER win that game.

T.O.B. will never sign a recruit you have heard of.

Remove the following phrase from your vocabulary: Vertical Passing Game. It does not exist.

You will send more offensive linemen to the NFL than any school in the ACC, maybe the country.

You will never have more than two players on your team who run under a 4.7. T.O.B. says, "Speed kills."

T.O.B. does not know how to smile. He may in fact be a robot, that is as yet undetermined.

If you are a freshman on the NC State team T.O.B. will not talk to you from the moment you sign your letter of intent until you show up for fall practice as a sophomore.

Your backup quarterback will play the first possession of the second quarter regardless of score, time, or field position.

The above sentence will cost you no less than three games in T.O.B.'s tenure.

Your defense will be wildly overrated on a regular basis, this will be a result of T.O.B.'s lack of personality. It reminds media types of Bill Bellichick and that makes people presume a nonexistent defensive prowess.

At times you will think T.O.B. is throwing games with his play calling. This is not the case, he is just a lousy coach.

T.O.B. is not a good college football coach.

Etch that into your brains now and you will enjoy the slow climb from 3-9 to a perennial ranking between 20 and 25. Congratulations again!

Love,

The Overjoyed Fans of Boston College who feel as though they have been freed from the tyranny of an oppressive dictator.

Irresistable

"Not any discredit to the New England Patriots because they know how to win, but everybody to us has the same record in the playoffs. All your stats and my 17 sacks go away. You have to start all over again. That's what it's all about, reestablishing yourself as that team in the playoffs." - Shawne Merriman, San Diego Chargers 'roid-head linebacker.

So let's review this comment. When an athlete says something like, "Not any discredit..." (which of course makes no grammatical sense...) it usually means, "I'm basically trying to discredit them without ending up on a bulletin board." Well at least he tried. I'll let that slide. What is really laughable here Merriman's idea that, "...everybody to us has the same record in the playoffs."

Ah, Shawne, at last check your name shouldn't have an "e" at the end of it and a 5-12 playoff record is not in the same universe as an 11-1 mark. I assure you, Marty Shottenheimer and his propensity to choke on the grandest stage is aware of those numbers and knows they don't add up to the same conclusion.

Nice work mentioning your own sack total by the way. There might not be an "I" in team but there is one in "steroid".

The Chargers should know by now that if they want to be "that team" in the playoffs they have to beat the group that has been "that team" for the better part of this decade, and perhaps it would be best to leave your own regular (or as it should be known in San Diego, "Marty") season stats and your not so veiled shots at the three time Super Bowl Champion Patriots right where they are in your locker room until sometime Sunday night when your season may or may not be over.

Here are some more "records" that aren't the same.

Phillip Rivers playoff record: 0-0
Tom Brady's playoff record: 11-1

The unstoppable Ladanian Tomlinson's Super Bowl appearances: 0
Corey Dillon's Super Bowl rings: 1

In their last four games against the top seed the Patriots are 4-0
The Chargers haven't played four playoff games in my lifetime.

Bill Bellichick's defensive schemes have befuddled far greater quarterbacks than Rivers in January, i.e. Manning, McNair, McNabb, Delhomme, and Warner. Ok, that's not a number it's a statement, and it's also a fact.

Don't get me wrong, it's by no means a foregone conclusion that the Patriots will emerge from Sunday's game with a victory but the last thing in the world Shawne Merriman should be doing is adding fuel to a fire that, for his interests, needs no further stoking. Merriman has never played in a playoff game, he knows naught of what he speaks, and if he thinks gliding through the AFC West over the course of a steriod suspension shortened season gives him any credibility to attack the greatest sports franchise of the past 10 years he is sorely mistaken.

And if he's not worried about the Patriots, maybe he should take a cue from his fans. The Chargers and their fans are doing everything possible to keep Pats fans from invading their space this weekend. Tickets cannot be purchased by anyone with a mailing address outside of California or a proven track record of Chargers support. What kind of paranoid bull-shit is that? To me it says two things:

1. Your fans are so lame that they won't sell out a playoff game fast enough to keep Patriot fans from even having the opportunity to buy tickets first hand.

2. Your fans are so vanilla that, even in the stadium, they will not make enough noise to drown out a vastly outnumbered minority of Patriot fans willing to make the trip across the country.

Sounds scared to me, and they should be.

Given my recent track record of sports predictions I am not going on record with anything at this time (let's just say I had Ohio State over Florida 35-10...) but even the thick skulled Sean Salisbury has finally learned not to pick agains the Pats in the playoffs...

PS: If you're craving a little nausea check out the Chargers theme song at www.myspace.com/pod.