NFL Draft

Well ladies and gentlemen it’s NFL Draft day here in B-Slant land and let me tell you the excitement has been at a fever pitch all afternoon. There really is nothing like the endless waiting and speculation about infrequent picks that always turn out exactly like we thought they were going to three months ago. Good God could this be more of a non-event?

I love the crowd at the draft every year in New York, especially when the Jets are picking early. When Paul Tagliabue takes the stage to put the first team officially on the clock they’re chomping at the bit. An hour later when the Jets pick the crowd erupts again. After pick ten nobody has heard of the defensive tackles and safeties that start flying off the board and by the end of the first round there are two fantasy football junkies and one passed out tailgater left in the crowd.

I just don’t get it. Maybe it’s because the Patriots have picked so late in the past few years that I can’t even wait around long enough to see them make their selection. And once they do pick it inevitably is someone I have never seen play and have only heard of within the last week.

Or maybe it’s because the draft the most speculative event of the year. All these “experts” like Sean “Bullhorn” Salisbury and Michael Irvin sit around and try to dissect the potential careers of guys who have played exactly zero professional snaps. It’s ridiculous. Not to mention no one ever says, “Well I think this guy had a great college career but his stock was elevated unfairly by a great combine and I just don’t think he’s going to make it,” even if everyone knows that is what’s going to happen.

This isn’t basketball where one player like Lebron James can change the face and status of a franchise forever. Reggie Bush, who went second to the Saints, can’t single-handedly change the fortunes of the team without a decent offensive line and a good year from Drew Brees. Everyone in the NFL needs help so one selection is likely not going to make or break your future. You never hear stories from the NFL about guys who were passed over or picked before future Hall of Fame players unless the variance is incredibly extreme (Tom Brady in the sixth round for example). In the NBA you hear all the time about the guys that were picked ahead of Michael Jordan or that Darko went before Carmello and D-Wade because the individual future of a team depends dramatically on what they do with that first pick.

It probably seems like I’m piling on ESPN right now but they totally force the NFL Draft down your throat for weeks before the actual non-event. Mel Kiper does not need to be on every single show from February to April dissecting the same ten guys over and over again. How many times have we heard in the last week that Matt Leinart’s arm might not be strong enough for the NFL? Thank you Mel for that late-breaking story that you reported LAST year when he was thinking about coming out. Teams are concerned about Vince Young’s throwing motion? No kidding, polish up the Pulitzer. It’s a bad thing that Lendale White has a torn ACL and is fat? Okay hold on…let me write this down: torn ACL = bad and fat = bad, got it.

For the love of God does Kiper not have the best scam in the world going? He’s a “draft expert” meaning he watches college football and listens to their analysts to tell him who the best players are. Then he finds their height, weight, and 40 times and maybe watches a few games the punches it all into a computer and voila he has six hours a day of airtime for a month! Like it takes a freaking rocket scientist to know that Reggie Bush is fast and that D’Brickashaw Ferguson is huge.

It’s now 3:15PM, three hours and fifteen minutes from the beginning of ESPN’s coverage, and 18 picks have been made. Watching women’s amateur curling contains more fast paced action than this.

Only forty-five more minutes until the Patriots pick…that is unless there’s a trade, then the clock starts all over again. Yawn.

ESPN's Big Mistake

For the past 25 or so years you can count the big mistakes ESPN has made on one hand. In fact I can’t think of one that truly stands out as a total disaster with a legitimate backlash. Bowling coverage is stupid and annoying but not offensive. Stump the Schwaub only appeals to people like me who actually think they might have a chance of beating him. Their own 25th anniversary celebration was obnoxious but understandable and actually made for a decent highlight reel of my lifetime.

That unblemished record seems to be coming to a totally unnecessary end.

I cannot imagine any reason that a network, especially one as reputable as the “Worldwide Leader” would want to be in the Barry Bonds business right now but apparently ESPN has piggybacked itself with the most controversial, abrasive, and ultimately guilty athlete of our generation on a number of levels. Obviously they pimp their own show “Bonds on Bonds” incessantly but their ties to Bonds are starting to leak into their everyday programming especially on “Sportscenter” and “Baseball Tonight”.

It is pathetic and deplorable commercialism to headline an (allegedly) objective magazine program with coverage of an irrelevant event such as a Bonds’ third inning at bat while more pressing and legitimate stories are pushed to the backburner due to some programming affiliation. Not only is it stupid, it’s transparent and irritating.

Here’s the problem in its simplest form. Everyone knows that Barry Bonds took and likely still takes steroids. Game of Shadows proves that statement beyond a reasonable doubt, as does his appearance and late career statistical explosion. By putting themselves in the corner with Bonds ESPN has presented itself as a part of the team to either spin or redact Bonds’ involvement with the BALCO scandal and rampant steroid use in baseball. Whether or not that is true is irrelevant because from the outside looking in that’s how it appears. Further, by beginning each “Sportscenter” and “Baseball Tonight” with coverage of meaningless Bonds at bats, thereby giving less attention to more important stories like the NBA and NHL playoffs, ESPN only emphasizes the impression of collaboration and conspiracy.

In a time when everyone should be pulling out of Bonds’ corner ESPN is moving in the opposite direction. Now instead of being able to objectively report on baseball’s investigation into steroid use and the Grand Jury’s investigation into Bonds’ potential perjury ESPN has to consider (before reporting) what effect their reports will have on the ratings of one of their own shows. That is a conflict of interest that no sensible network would want and one that should be examined and scrutinized regularly by the millions of people who turn to Sportscenter daily for its entertaining and informative coverage of all aspects of the sports world.

The decision to go this route with “Bonds on Bonds” makes no sense. The brass at ESPN had to know that he was not going to give all-access to the cameras and allow them to film him with a needle sticking out of his ass. With that knowledge going in they should have known that what was going to come of their coverage was going to look like a puff piece and would irrevocably associate them with an about to be exposed villain.

The show comes off like an attempt to humanize one of the most arrogant, selfish, and deceitful athletes of all time and to be the network that purveys that type of portrayal sets up a difficult and troublesome dichotomy for ESPN between legitimate news coverage and individually affected spin.

What becomes of “Bonds on Bonds” when he is tried and convicted of perjury, which he clearly committed? What will ESPN do if and when he fails a steroid test? What about when some evidence surfaces that proves beyond a shadow of a Giants fan’s doubt that he is guilty of all the things we know he is guilty of? Does ESPN suddenly jump ship and cancel the show? Or do they become a part of Bonds’ legal team, a group set up to discredit and dissemble the facts that are piling up against him? Furthermore, if nothing incriminating ever comes out and Bonds goes on to break Hank Aaron’s record how will the network cover it? Will they celebrate it as a legitimate achievement that we all know it is not? Their absurd bit “Top 40 Bonds Moments” only makes the case against them worse.

ESPN, the network which spends more time on my dial than any other, has truly painted itself into a corner here and something needs to change. They cannot continue to pretend that coverage of Bonds should lead every episode of “Baseball Tonight” and most “Sportscenters” and expect that viewers everywhere will not start questioning the validity of their prioritization.

It’s my feeling that Bonds is not someone with whom you want to be associated with in the coming months and if I were making the decisions at ESPN we would be jumping off of this bandwagon ASAP.

US Cellular

I admit that I am not a baseball stadium expert. I’ve only been to three aside from Fenway: Yankee Stadium, PacBell (formerly) in San Francisco, and most recently US Cellular Field in Chicago.

Having primarily seen live games in Boston any stadium seems like a palatial land of opulence. The seats face the field? Oh dear lord! The fat guy next to you doesn’t have his love handles in your popcorn? Three Cheers for that! You can get seats for less than double face value? What a concept! Beer vendors that come to the seats? Hooray!

That being said my visit to the White Sox new home on the south side of Chicago was (in some analytical ways) a disappointing experience. US Cellular is a beautiful facility in every sense of a functional baseball stadium. It’s easy to get to using public transportation, the seats are cheap ($60 on stubhub.com for lower level 12 rows back from 1st base, $34 face value), there are roaming beer guys, and there is no such thing as an obstructed view.

However, for some reason the atmosphere can only be described as vanilla. First the surrounding area is essentially vacant. I wandered around about half of the exterior of the stadium and literally did not see one bar or souvenir shop. How do these things not just spring up all over the place next to stadiums? Maybe it’s because you’re allowed to tailgate outside of the park which is an odd phenomenon, in my mind, for baseball.

Once you get inside their seating “caste system” as we called it only contributes to the grayish atmosphere. Our seats were in the 100 section, which is the lowest level of the stadium. In order to get into the 100’s you have to show a ticket (even before the game) which means that if your seats are in the upper deck there is no opportunity for you to take your kids down to the field level to watch batting practice or try to get autographs which for a family is just about the only reason to arrive at the park before game time. It also keeps the “real fans” (i.e. the one’s who can’ afford season tickets or who just buy the cheapest seats available) far away from the action while the older more stodgy spectators watch the game with a Milwaukee Brewer’s like intensity.

For example, the couple that sat next to us was a season ticket holder and his absolutely ancient mother. This woman was so small and withered that when everyone stood up for the national anthem she had a proctologist’s view. As the game went on they talked and talked and talked about everything but baseball. At one point my dad whispered to me, “She’s putting on makeup.” I thought he was kidding. When I glanced to my left a few moments later I saw with horror that he wasn’t. She was smearing blood red lipstick over half of her face while holding a compact mirror approximately ¼ of an inch from her nose. This was certainly not an enraptured fan.

On the whole the place just lacks character. Maybe I’m too used to Fenway but to me it seemed like big building that can’t decide what it wants to be. They play their introductory music WAY too loud especially in the early part of the game when the stadium is half empty and throughout the game they inundate you with various sensory overloads. There is hardly a moment between innings when something isn’t flashing or singing or racing across the big screen accompanied by ear drum shattering sound. My dad summed it up best, “It’s like they’re trying to be WWF baseball.” It seemed to me that a lot of what they were doing was a desperate attempt to make attending the games an experience worth repeating. The White Sox have never drawn enormously well, and now that they are it almost feels like they’re forcing it a little.

You could say that I’m just a baseball elitist and that I only have eyes for Fenway Park, but that would be untrue. I loved PacBell Park and if you gave me the option of trading it for the old monstrosity we have here I would have to seriously think about it. PacBell manages to combine the old with the new in an effective way while US Cellular beats you down with the new and suggests that the old is built in because the team itself has tradition. And even saying that is debatable. They have tradition from last year, but prior to that (and into the future) they are the second team in the second city and sadly the feel of their stadium reflects that.

All that being said attending a game at US Cellular is an enjoyable time with one giant exception.

I thought the Red Sox were obnoxious about their World Series victory last season with the hour long opening day ceremony and the marching out of every elderly man who had ever worked for the team in any capacity. I was wrong. The White Sox beat it into your head with the fury of a team that his lived in the shadows in its own city forever. Everything in the stadium says 2005 World Series Champion Chicago White Sox on it. EVERYTHING. They announced their team twice, once before the national anthem and then again individually as the team took the field.

The first time they pounded your skull with, “Now the starting lineup for YOUR 2005 WORLD SERIES CHAMPION CHICAGO WHITE SOX!”

The second time the PA announcer was flat out offensive. “Stand up White Sox fans and welcome YOUR 2005 WORLD SERIES CHAMPIONS. At first base your 2005 World Series Champion first baseman Paul Konerko…” and on and on and on until the entire starting nine took the field to, like my father said, a WWF style introduction.

First of all, you don’t need to introduce your team twice; everyone in the stadium should know your players. Secondly, we know you won the World Series last year; you don’t need to remind us as a precursor to every sentence. Finally, don’t tell me to stand up. You are presuming that your fans are very lame if you need to instruct them on how to cheer for their team? Come on.

I think that if the White Sox have another good season and earn equal ink with the Cubs that most of these things will work themselves out. They have a great team and should walk away with the central and could challenge for another World Series. With another winning year under their belt hopefully a lot of these little nagging annoyances will disappear as they learn how to be winners not only on the field but to their fans and in their city.

Marathon Monday

Marathon Monday is often considered, among Bostonians, as the greatest day of each year. Falling on the third Monday of April, which is also a little known holiday called Patriots’ Day the marathon provides a race as a backdrop to the biggest day of drinking and legalized hookie-playing found anywhere in the country. The holiday itself is a non-event, most people don’t even know that it exists; the real holiday is the fact that if you work anywhere in downtown Boston you have the day off because you can’t get to work due to road closures and as a result you should start drinking at 9:00 AM.

Over at BC the day takes on even more epic proportions. First of all classes are cancelled as the race runs right past campus making it impossible for teachers and commuter students to get there. Second, the best party neighborhood off campus, Cleveland Circle (also along the race route) is an unofficial hot spot for marathon fans and heavy drinkers alike. Finally, it’s just a huge excuse to get wasted…really wasted…like blacked out by 1:00 PM wasted. The stringent community and campus official restrictions on drinking are relaxed for the day and an anything goes mentality pervades. In short it’s a total shit show and every college student’s dream.

This year, sadly I missed the greatest day of the year in Boston as I was in transit back from Chicago so I thought as homage to the enormity of Marathon Monday I would present a fictional live-diary of what would have happened if I had been here.

8:00 AM: The alarm goes off at a ridiculously ambitious hour. Last night I really thought I was going to leap out of bed with Christmas morning exuberance at this insane time? Why the hell did I drink so much last night when I knew I had to get up this early? Ughhh.

8:30 AM: I finally drag myself out of bed and into the shower. Someone in my house is pestering me to drink a mimosa which turns my stomach and makes me smile at the same time.

9:00 AM: I succumb to peer-pressure and chug a mimosa to take the edge off. Nearly vomit, but then immediately feel better.

9:30 AM: We depart from my house to head towards Fenway Park to catch some of the annual 11:00 AM Red Sox game at the newly renovated Cask and Flagon. Our stench offends those forced to work on this glorious day and the marathon unawares, as does the volume of our half drunk / half hung-over slurring.

10:15 AM: Arrive at Fenway after a miserable 45 minutes on the T which can make you nauseous even when you haven’t just gunned down half a bottle of champagne and a half gallon of orange juice before 10:00 AM. We stumble out of the station looking green and wondering what the hell we are doing with our lives. The mob-scene we encounter wakes us up and gives us life again. Here is the great crossroads of marathon day. Families taking in the race line the streets where Commonwealth Ave and Beacon Street meet. Late arriving Sox fans lucky enough to have the elusive tickets scurry towards the stadium followed by the tag-alongs like us just there for the spectacle and the plethora of bars. There are some that have clearly been drinking since 7:00, and some that look vaguely afraid of them. A guy is already being kicked out of Copperfield’s for puking. Ahh the marathon…

10:45: Enter the Cask after waiting in an offensively slow moving line. Immediately we head to the bar for life sustaining alcohol. Ridiculous over consumption follows as we try to drown our headaches and the little voice inside our head telling us that maybe eating would be a good idea.

11:00 AM – 2:00 PM: Watch the Sox win a thriller over the Mariners on a Mark Loretta walk off. The excitement emboldens us, we take shots. We immediately regret the shots. Finally we order a burger and our stomachs remind us what a bad idea it is to have 8 beers before breakfast.

2:15 PM: We stumble out in bright daylight which always shocks you when you’ve been inside a bar for four hours. Is it really still light out and am I really this drunk? Why are all those skinny people running down the middle of the road, don’t they know how dangerous that is? In an unsuccessful attempt to legitimize ourselves with the rest of the world we wander over to Comm. Ave to watch some of the race. After a few moments I realize that we’re standing next to a family of 5 who are shooting cautious glances at us every few seconds as though they’re afraid that one of us might whip it out and start peeing in the road. Their fears are legitimate, we move on.

2:25 PM: We find our way back to the Kenmore T station and jump on a C line train heading towards Cleveland Circle with intentions of stopping by a couple of BC parties and our old college haunt Mary Ann’s. The ride is pure hell as sitting down and riding on a bumpy train is a perfect catalyst for a nauseous booze filled stomach and a premature hangover.

2:55 PM: Arrive in Cleveland Circle only to find a massive line outside of Mary Ann’s. This is no surprise. Our backup plan is a party at a buddy’s place who is on the extended BC five-year plan. We enter, and as alumni are immediately regarded by every girl in the place as a sketchy presence worthy of a trip to the opposite side of the room to avoid. We all shed a small tear for our lost collegiate status and then proceed to own the Beirut table for an hour. Our conversation is pure alumni, the only topics being how much we miss college and how much bigger and better our Marathon Monday party was when we lived in Cleveland Circle. Around us is debauchery at its best. It’s not Cancun flashing lights and boobs insanity; it’s more like the last few hours of the wedding reception for your first buddy to get married. Everyone’s loaded and friendly but don’t necessarily know each other that well and the cross section of people makes for high quality entertainment…if you could remember it.

5:00 PM: The college kids who started drinking at 7:00 are passed out and those of us who started a few hours later aren’t feeling so hot either. We cross the street back to Mary Ann’s where the line has disappeared and the energy is dissipating. The only runners still going by are the old men with more determination and guts than I’ll ever have who just hope to finish before the course is closed. Cars are starting to reappear on the roads. I can’t even imagine how these men watch the crowd cheering them on slowly evaporate and yet they continue on knowing that there will be just a smattering of people there to congratulate them at the finish line. It’s more mental toughness than your average person could dream of. Anyway, we enter Mary Ann’s in a daze, hoping to find revitalization within. Our hopes are met initially as we recall the time we spent here just a few years ago, but that fades quickly. We’re tired and old and can’t quite hack the all day drunk-fest like we used to. It’s a sad reality.

6:00 PM: We pack it in. Fearing another ride on the T would kill me I encourage taking a taxi back home and it is readily agreed upon.

6:30 PM: Stop by Anna’s Taqueria for much needed grease and cheese so that we can lift our heads tomorrow. Few burritos have ever tasted so good or been so necessary.

7:00 PM: Home and dead.

Sigh...if only it were true. Maybe next year.

Fat guys are good for a lot of things. They make you feel better about the shape you’re in. They make you look better in front of women. They giggle when they move quickly and that makes me laugh. They can eat more than you at a buffet. The list goes on.

The list ends long before it reaches the: They are worthy to play on a professional sports team that I follow.

I hate David Wells. I hate him because he’s old, he loves the Yankees, he drinks more than me, he’s a clubhouse cancer, and he doesn’t want to be here. I also hate him because he’s fat.

If someone is paying you a couple million dollars a year to play a game that involves physical activity stay in shape. There is no excuse not to. You have six months of the year off, work out all day everyday. If you’re a pitcher even when you’re in season you only have to work once every five days, work out all day everyday the rest of the time. You body pays your bills, don’t let it look like your uncle Ralph’s.

And by God if you get fat do not walk into a Boston locker room.

As you can tell this is one of my biggest pet peeves. The phenomenon has always bothered me. I didn’t like El Guapo Rich Garces even though he had a few solid seasons because you knew that someone in that kind of shape would eventually break down. He did.

Wells however takes this from being a mild annoyance to a full blown obsession. I just plain can’t stand him. He looks like a guy that plays for the Leicester Police Department softball team, not the number four starter in the Red Sox rotation.

I don’t even know where I’m going with this it just drives me crazy and it’s been on my mind because Fatty Wells ruined my first live Sox game of the season by giving up seven runs in four innings and three home runs including a two run shot on the first pitch after I entered the stadium. Literally 30 seconds after we sat down the game was over, what a waste of $100 dollars and a hangover, and I blame it all on that fat idiot.

Okay this was more of a rant than anything else, and it just ran out of gas…

AL East Preview - 2006

It’s that time again, early April, when hope and worry both spring (although not eternal, but likely interminable) in New England and (as I said last year) our eyes are cast to the Death Star located several hundred miles to the south in the Bronx. It’s true, after such a seemingly short interval it is time yet again for another 162 game odyssey to decide the fate of the American League East.

For the past few years both teams have relied on the same mantra, hit until you are blue in the face. Yes pitching is important in the playoffs but to get there both the Red Sox and Yankees have relied on a steady diet of offensive firepower. This year things are different. The juxtaposition of the Bombers against the Sox is always sharp but this year there are distinctions that will shatter that into tiny unrecognizable shards.

For the first time in a long while the bitterest of rivals will take different paths to their ultimate success or failure. The Yankees will stick with the currently effective theory of blasting the cover off the ball. Their lineup is on paper the most fearsome of my lifetime and may be one of the best ever. The Red Sox on the other hand, while still remarkably formidable have lessened their chops on the offensive side of the ball while strengthening their defense up the middle and their pitching. To answer who will come out on top I give you the second annual AL East Preview.

LINEUP:
Okay, I’m going to say right off the bat that I hate to concede New York’s superiority over Boston in any sense aside from the quality of delis but I’m forced yet again to make an admission. The Yankee lineup is better. The Red Sox have a more frightening 3-4 punch with David Ortiz and Manny Ramirez, but top to bottom the Yanks are a nightmarish combination.

Going from position to position this is what it looks like. At first base the Red Sox will be starting their most well known prospect of the decade Kevin Youkilis. While familiarity with the name and a general feeling that he deserves a shot at playing everyday will give most Red Sox fans confidence the B-Slant isn’t sold on the kid just yet. For his career he has hit just .262 in 294 at bats with 8 homeruns and 44 RBI. It’s hard to make much out of numbers that have come from such limited playing time but my feeling is that if he were that good he would have been playing more, especially last year with Kevin Millar’s struggles. J.T. Snow will see some time there, especially if Youkilis falters and at least he is a solid veteran presence. The Bombers will counter with Jason Giambi last year’s Comeback Player of the Year. Once the face of the steroid controversy; Giambi silenced critics last season hitting .271 with 32 homeruns and 87 RBI. If he puts up numbers like that again the best the Sox can hope for is a wash. My feeling is the advantage is going to New York here.

At second base Boston will likely have one of its few edges over the Yankees in terms of offensive production. Robinson Cano could be a star eventually but in his second season I see a sophomore slump coming on. Last year as a rookie the pressure probably seemed minimal more or less because of ignorance. That will not be the case this time, everyone knows his name, no one will overlook him and he may falter. In comparison to the paltry contributions they got from their plethora of second basemen last year Mark Loretta’s career averages look like a delightful step forward for the Red Sox. A career .301 hitter with a proven track record of performance, Loretta seems unlikely to take a step backwards this year.

There is no debate at shortstop. Alex Gonzalez will play great defense but Derek Jeter is a Hall of Fame caliber player. If the Sox get .250, 4, and 45 from Gonzalez he will be an offensive success. Look for much more than that from Jeter.

Same story at third base. Mike Lowell took steroids. He is no longer taking them which is really too bad for Red Sox fans. A-Rod was not the MVP last year, but he won it anyway which means he had pretty good numbers despite his inability to hit in the clutch like his highway-robbed runner-up. While I think Lowell will improve on his .237 from a year ago he will never be in A-Rod’s league, ever.

Left field is contrast of styles. Manny and his smooth, textbook right handed swing against Hideki Matsui and his ugly Japanese style left handed hack. Each is effective in its own way. Last year’s numbers bear out the comparison. After a dreadful start Matsui thundered down the stretch to end the season at .305 with 23 homeruns and 116 RBIs. Manny had a down year in terms of average at only .292 but still came up with huge power numbers including 45 homeruns and 144 RBIs. If you were starting a team you would take both of these guys if you could but for my money Manny is better. Over the long haul he has a better swing and better strike zone coverage which will probably lead to higher production.

It’s hard to talk about this rivalry without touching on Benedict Arnold himself Johnny Damon. Say what you want about the hypocrisy of fans’ expectations in terms of athlete loyalty but Damon deserted Boston for the brighter spotlight and the bigger paycheck, period. While I think he’s a deplorable little slug for invoking the “Yankee tradition” before ever playing a game in pinstripes it’s undeniable that he is still one of the best leadoff hitters in the game. The Red Sox made the right move for the long term in getting younger, faster, and able-to-throw-like-a-man Coco Crisp but that improvement will take two or three years to show itself. At this stage of their careers Damon is still better at least in terms of experience playing under pressure and the ability to handle the spotlight. However, if Johnny’s shoulder continues to bother him and limits his ability to swing and throw the balance could easily shift in the Sox favor. As everyone knows Crisp’s numbers are nearly identical to Damon’s numbers when he came to the Red Sox four years ago. If he improves in the same marked way each year Boston will have made a brilliant move in signing a player on the rise while sending a declining veteran to the enemy. I hope we see signs of that this season. This dichotomy is one of the larger questions of the upcoming campaign and while I expect Damon to outperform Crisp I think the margin will be smaller than many think and like I said any injury to the 32 year old Damon could lean this into the positive for Red Sox nation.

In right field it’s the same old question for Boston. Will Trot Nixon stay healthy? We love Nixon here but in all honesty he has been a bust. He was the seventh overall pick in the 1993 draft and has been a “can’t miss” talent for his entire career; he is just unable to keep himself off of the DL for an entire season. If he can manage to do so he could put up numbers that will merit at least a reasonable comparison with Gary Sheffield, who hit .292 with 34 homeruns and 123 RBI in 154 games last season against Nixon’s .275, 13, and 67 in 124 games. Until Nixon (maybe combined with Willy Mo Pena) proves that he can make it thorough 150 games the edge at this spot goes to the Yanks.

At the designated hitter position the balance that was swung in favor of New York at shortstop and third base is swung in equal measure to the side of the Red Sox. David Ortiz does this better than anyone and ranks highly among the best clutch hitters in the game. In the 9th inning there is no one you would rather have at the plate, and for the first eight he isn’t bad either. Last season he hit an even .300 with 47 homeruns and 148 RBI. On their official web site the Yankees don’t even have a section for designated hitters. The most likely scenario is that it will be a platoon between “Weekend at Bernie’s” Williams and Jason Giambi (when Andy Phillips is at 1st base) with a host of others potentially filling in the gap. This is the only “no contest” in favor of Boston.

In terms of overall lineup potential there is little doubt that the Yankees have more pop. They should score a ton of runs and launch a ludicrous amount of homeruns. The question is whether they will be an effective lineup together or just the sum of their parts. The Red Sox need to be productive together to compete because the sum of their lesser talents (only in comparison with NY, the rest of the league with a few exceptions would love to have Boston’s lineup) will not be enough to carry the club as it has in the past. However, like I said before for the first time in a few years this offensive comparison will not be the overlying factor in who wins the East.

PITCHING:

Comparing the pitching staffs of the Red Sox and Yankees is like trying to answer test questions in another language, i.e. total guesswork. Unknowns abound on both sides.

At the top of each rotation, at least theoretically there is an aging veteran formerly of the Diamondbacks. Randy Johnson is coming off of a 17-8 season in which he carried a 3.79 ERA (and don’t forget he beat the Sox five times). Curt Schilling is coming off a fat / injury plagued season. Last year is one that I’m sure he’d rather forget as would we all. When Schilling is right he is better than Johnson, when he isn’t we don’t really know what he is. He seems healthy and slimmed down but to speculate on the health of nearly 40 year old pitchers in April is foolhardy at best. I’m calling this match-up a wash with a reasonable probability that it will lean in the favor of he Sox.

Similar story at the number two position for each club. Boston will march out their newest shiny toy Josh Beckett, a 25 year old hard throwing right hander who has proved two things without a doubt: he can win in Yankee stadium under pressure and he is very injury prone. The Yankees will counter with 37 year old Mike Mussina who has had his own injury issues over the past few seasons, most notably chronic back problems. If Beckett stays healthy and lives up to that .234 career opponents’ batting average the Sox will be a few steps ahead at this spot.

I see the final three spots in each rotation producing at a similar level. While there are differences aplenty between the trio of Shawn Chacon, Jaret Wright, and Chien-Ming Wang for NY and Boston’s Tim Wakefield, David Wells, and Matt Clement the overall output should be about the same. That is to say 30-40 wins and a projected ERA in the mid to high fours. Changes will certainly take place in each group as Wells is unlikely to be with the team for the duration if he proves to be a valuable trade commodity and Chacon and Wang may suffer sophomore slumps and Wright’s health is hardly guaranteed.

In the starting rotation comparison the advantage is, in my mind, firmly with the Red Sox at the outset. If Schilling or Beckett go down or Clement falls apart in the second half again all bets are off but going into the year I like where Boston stands on the mound better.

In the bullpen things always begin, or I should say end with the closer. For the past decade no one in baseball has been able to hold a candle to the Yankees in that department, and while the Red Sox have had some success against Sandman I won’t be holding my breath for Keith Foulke to out-duel Mariano Rivera on a regular basis. Foulke is probably the third biggest question / concern for Red Sox fans after the health of Schilling and Beckett and his physical well-being is only one part of the equation. After the nightmare he suffered through last year, including the abuse from the fans, the media, and his teammates it would be ridiculous to assume that he is coming into this campaign with a full set of marbles mentally. His confidence is surely on a tenuous balance and if he gets off to a slow start that will only get worse, not to mention how quickly the Red Sox faithful will turn on him. If he doesn’t produce however, all is not lost. Jonathan Papelbon could be there to save the day and begin his Red Sox legacy. Deep down inside every Red Sox fan is at least somewhat hoping for this, we won’t admit it but we’ve all given up on Foulke as the answer and are looking for something better. The grapefruits and talent that Papelbon showed last year indicated that he could be that solution.

The other question for me regarding Boston’s bullpen is the age and durability of Mike Timlin. I know questioning Timlin’s ability to eat innings is like doubting Star Jones’ love of cheeseburgers but at 40 years of age it’s a legitimate concern. He was ineffective in the World Baseball Classic and seemed to have a bit of a dead arm, if that carries into the season he could leave a large void (something like 81 appearances large) for the rest of the staff to fill.

The Yankees on the other hand lost their version of Timlin with Tom Gordon heading out of town. Filling that void in New York will not be a one man show. The role will initially go to the psychotic Australian Kyle Farnsworth with lefty help coming from ex-Sox reliever Mike Myers. Tanyon Sturtze still sucks (or maybe I just hate him) and aside from his numbers (56 games 5.91 ERA 76 hits in 70 innings) I don’t know a thing about Scott Proctor. After Rivera nothing is really jumping out at me on this list as remarkably reliable.

The complimentary guys in the Sox bullpen aren’t awe inspiring either but I feel slightly better about their chances to be solid contributors. Julian Tavarez will probably hurt his pitching hand punching something hard because he’s as dumb as a bag of hammers but when he’s on the mound he has good career stats (642 games, 4.33 ERA, 626 strikeouts) although all of that was in the Norris Division (NL). David Riske also looks alright on paper, coming into Boston with a career 3.59 ERA and American League experience. Rudy Seanez is someone about whom I know almost nothing despite the fact that he pitched in 9 games for the Red Sox in 2003. (He did?) However, last year in 54 games his ERA was a very solid 2.69 and he only gave up 18 earned runs and struck out 84 in 60.1 innings for the Padres. Even if he adds a little onto that because of the switch to the major leagues…I mean AL (sorry I keep slamming the NL like this but they just don’t hit as well) he should still be pretty valuable out there.

The biggest weakness I see for the Sox in terms of relief is the lack of a proven left hander. Lenny DiNardo, (despite being involved in one of my favorite, “Oh shit back the camera up a little,” moments with Johnny Pesky during the ’04 ring ceremony when the grizzled Pesky audibly muttered “DiNardo you son a bitch!” as he passed him in the handshake line) is probably not going to be a Myers-like option. Everyone else out there is right handed. That means with Matsui up and the bases loaded in the seventh we basically have nowhere to go. That will become an issue at some point.

That being said I still think overall the Sox edge the Yankees again in terms of complimentary relievers. So where does that leave us?

Well oddly enough this season there is actually another team in the AL East that might merit a look. The Toronto Blue Jays were one of the most active clubs in the off season and seem poised to cause some ruckus in that hideous dome they have up there. Their lineup is stacked with solid talent like Troy Glaus, Eric Hinske, Vernon Wells, Reed Johnson, Frank Catalanotto, and Bengie Molina. On the hill they added A.J. Burnett to former Cy Young Award winner Roy Halladay and Red Sox killer Ted Lilly forming a very solid top three at the head of their rotation. They also have flamethrower B.J. Ryan and Scott Schoeneweis anchoring down the bullpen. On paper that should be plenty to compete.

But in the end it won’t be. They made some nice moves but like the Orioles last year they will be gone by the middle of August. If they’re in it at the trading deadline they might be a piece or two away from hanging in until the end, but that doesn’t seem likely to me.

So what it will come down to AGAIN is the 19 games that the Sox and Yanks will play against each other, as it has for the past one billion years (I guess it only seems that long). For the last eight the Bombers have walked away with the AL East crown. I think that ends this year. They have mortgaged themselves out too far in terms of age and unreliable arms. Sure, if Johnson and Mussina return to peak form and Chacon and Wang hold themselves up to last year’s unlikely standards the division should be theirs. I really don’t see that happening though. This team can trot out 8 potential All-Stars in their everyday lineup but within that 8 they also play a half dozen potential season crippling injury victims (oh God in heaven let it be Damon that goes down first).

Earlier in the off season I thought that the Red Sox had taken a few large steps backwards, now I think differently. Basically they swapped Johnny Damon now for Johnny Damon a few years ago with a manly throwing motion and better wheels. They traded Edgar Renterria and his flat .270 and 30 errors for one of the best defensive shortstops in the league. They ditched the village idiot Kevin Millar for potential and a veteran in Youkilis and Snow. They upgraded their staff with one of the most pressure proven young arms in baseball and added bull pen depth. This is a better team than last year so while I said above that the Yankees out slam the Red Sox at almost every position I believe that Boston pulls it all together to make the better all around squad, and that is much more important than being just the sum of your very expensive parts. Ask last year’s White Sox. NY will win some games 18-3 and it will be impressive, but at the end of the day I think Brian Cashman would trade those results for the 2-1 victories the Red Sox will be hanging up on a regular basis.

PREDICTION:RED SOX: 96-66
Yankees: 92-70
Blue Jays: 81-81
Devil Rays: 80-82
Orioles: 75-87