NFL Draft

Well ladies and gentlemen it’s NFL Draft day here in B-Slant land and let me tell you the excitement has been at a fever pitch all afternoon. There really is nothing like the endless waiting and speculation about infrequent picks that always turn out exactly like we thought they were going to three months ago. Good God could this be more of a non-event?

I love the crowd at the draft every year in New York, especially when the Jets are picking early. When Paul Tagliabue takes the stage to put the first team officially on the clock they’re chomping at the bit. An hour later when the Jets pick the crowd erupts again. After pick ten nobody has heard of the defensive tackles and safeties that start flying off the board and by the end of the first round there are two fantasy football junkies and one passed out tailgater left in the crowd.

I just don’t get it. Maybe it’s because the Patriots have picked so late in the past few years that I can’t even wait around long enough to see them make their selection. And once they do pick it inevitably is someone I have never seen play and have only heard of within the last week.

Or maybe it’s because the draft the most speculative event of the year. All these “experts” like Sean “Bullhorn” Salisbury and Michael Irvin sit around and try to dissect the potential careers of guys who have played exactly zero professional snaps. It’s ridiculous. Not to mention no one ever says, “Well I think this guy had a great college career but his stock was elevated unfairly by a great combine and I just don’t think he’s going to make it,” even if everyone knows that is what’s going to happen.

This isn’t basketball where one player like Lebron James can change the face and status of a franchise forever. Reggie Bush, who went second to the Saints, can’t single-handedly change the fortunes of the team without a decent offensive line and a good year from Drew Brees. Everyone in the NFL needs help so one selection is likely not going to make or break your future. You never hear stories from the NFL about guys who were passed over or picked before future Hall of Fame players unless the variance is incredibly extreme (Tom Brady in the sixth round for example). In the NBA you hear all the time about the guys that were picked ahead of Michael Jordan or that Darko went before Carmello and D-Wade because the individual future of a team depends dramatically on what they do with that first pick.

It probably seems like I’m piling on ESPN right now but they totally force the NFL Draft down your throat for weeks before the actual non-event. Mel Kiper does not need to be on every single show from February to April dissecting the same ten guys over and over again. How many times have we heard in the last week that Matt Leinart’s arm might not be strong enough for the NFL? Thank you Mel for that late-breaking story that you reported LAST year when he was thinking about coming out. Teams are concerned about Vince Young’s throwing motion? No kidding, polish up the Pulitzer. It’s a bad thing that Lendale White has a torn ACL and is fat? Okay hold on…let me write this down: torn ACL = bad and fat = bad, got it.

For the love of God does Kiper not have the best scam in the world going? He’s a “draft expert” meaning he watches college football and listens to their analysts to tell him who the best players are. Then he finds their height, weight, and 40 times and maybe watches a few games the punches it all into a computer and voila he has six hours a day of airtime for a month! Like it takes a freaking rocket scientist to know that Reggie Bush is fast and that D’Brickashaw Ferguson is huge.

It’s now 3:15PM, three hours and fifteen minutes from the beginning of ESPN’s coverage, and 18 picks have been made. Watching women’s amateur curling contains more fast paced action than this.

Only forty-five more minutes until the Patriots pick…that is unless there’s a trade, then the clock starts all over again. Yawn.