Doom and Gloom Alert!

First, I'd like to thank the New York professional football franchise who shall not be named for rendering me mute for the last 35 days or so... I've had nothing (nice or otherwise) to say so I've said nothing at all...

It's now March 3rd and I'm still astonished that it played out that way... Again...

Which brings me to the following (doom and gloom alert repeated)...

It's possible (likely?) that we have turned a bad corner here in Boston professional sports and that the greatest period of sustained success in my lifetime as well as the lifetime of the previous generation may have ended with a thud and whimper. And though it may seem as though that end came five weeks ago in Indianapolis I believe that it started much earlier and our inability to see the forest from the trees prevented it from becoming obvious until now.

Our crest was clearly (to me) June of 2008 when the Celtics won their 17th championship over the hated Lakers. Do I care that we bought and paid for that title like the Yankees of the mid '90's? Not one bit. This is Boston we're talking about, a relevant NBA free agent has NEVER signed here, and if the Celtics had gotten the number one pick in 2007 they would have taken Greg Oden (shudder...). Given the way the ping-pong balls bounced in the lottery and the fact that Boston had neither a warm climate or is located in a tax-free state the only way to assemble a competitive team was via trade or sign and trade. Credit to Danny Ainge and ownership for realizing what most of us did not, that it wasn't going to happen any other way.

Meanwhile the Patriots were coming off of an undefeated regular season. The Red Sox were defending World Series champs and had a roster that was poised to contend again...

Fast forward to July 31st when Red Sox management massively overreacted to typical Manny Ramirez bravado and stupidity and traded him for the king of both the meaningless solo home run and the worthless second half (Jason Bay) AND picked up $11 million of the tab to send him to the Dodgers. Find me one Red Sox fan that likes that deal in hindsight. Go ahead I'll wait...

Fast forward now from July to September. The Patriots were coming off of the greatest regular season in history. (In my extremely biased opinion that 18-0 '07 team is still the best team of all time.) Not a whole lot had changed on the roster and even though we (the fans) were still battered and bruised from the Super Bowl nightmare the Celtic's run had reinvigorated us and there was more than a little reason for optimism...

Seven minutes later Brady's ACL was in two pieces and despite a shockingly proficient season from Matt Cassell the Patriots managed to miss the playoffs at 11-5. That statistical improbability alone should have shown us the tide had turned...

Surprising exactly nobody the Red Sox failed to repeat their magic from 2007 without their best player and ended up watching the 2008 World Series from the couch. Thanks for that one hit in the post-season Jason, you were totally worth it.

Speeding up the fast forward button a bit...

In May of 2009 the Celtics, worn out from a tough series against the Bulls, collapsed against a soft Magic team and allowed Hedu Turkoglu (the guy who would become one of the faces of the NBA's bad-contract-itis) to demolish them over seven games. Turkoglu, who had 523 points (all figures approximated) in the decisive blowout in game seven in Boston, would go on to average -323 point (all figures approximated) per game for Toronto while being paid 7 billion dollars (all figures approximated) per season before being run back to Orlando.

In October of 2009 Papelbon gives up 100 runs (all figures approximated) with two outs in the ninth to blow game five of the ALDS to the Angels at Fenway.

In January of 2010 the Patriots allow Ray Rice to run for 2,000 yards (all figures approximated) in a playoff game AT HOME and lose by 400 points (all figures approximated).

But wait! Hope springs eternal (back in November...bear with me, this is hard to do in a linear way) with the Celtics who start the season by winning their first 200 games (all figures approximated) in a row and carry it through to another Finals match-up with the Lakers where, improbably, they have a double digit lead in the fourth quarter of game seven on the road! All is well right? ... Wrong! Ron Artest makes his first jump shot (all figures approximated) of the season and Kobe takes more free-throws than the Lakers had possessions (all figures approximated) in the last eight minutes and voila! It's over.

But all was not lost! Fast forward to football season. The Patriots had regained their pre-2008 form and were clearly the best team in football heading into the post-season after compiling a 14-2 record earning home-field advantage throughout. All they needed to do was beat a massively overrated Jets team with a lousy quarterback and a defense that was more bluster than substance for a shot at the AFC championship game... 64 touchdowns for Sanchez and 1,200 sacks (all figures approximated) of Brady later another season was finished in gut-wrenching fashion.

Good thing the 2011 Red Sox came along to save us! What an off-season the best GM the Red Sox have ever employed pulled off, signing two of the biggest available names in Adrian Gonzalez and Carl Crawford and one of the highest regarded pitchers in John Lackey. (I don't need to reiterate my feelings on those last two...) Every single media outlet had the Sox picked to at least win the division and make a deep playoff run... Then the games started... And they only won two of the first ten... But wait! It's alright, they figured it out and were the best team in baseball from May through August. Sure, they didn't quite catch the Yankees for the division crown but they had the Wild Card in the bag, holding a 5,000 game (all figures approximated) lead with only 27 games to play in September. A collapse like that would be unprecedented...

And it was. But collapse or no collapse all that was needed was a victory over the lowly Orioles on the last day of the season to ensure a playoff berth. No problem. At least it certainly didn't look like a problem as the Sox took a 700 run (all figures approximated) lead into the bottom of the ninth and still held that lead with two outs, Papelbon on the mound, and two strikes on the batter... Ten minutes later Pap had blown the save, the Rays had erased a 400 run (all figures approximated) ninth inning deficit against the Yankees (shenanigans?) and stolen the Wild Card right out from under us...

But there was still reason for hope. At least the franchise didn't insanely overreact to one bad month and run one of the most respected managers in the game and the man who led our first World Series winning teams since the early 1900's out of town of town on a rail while slandering him in the media... Oh wait. They did exactly that. Then they threw the team's three best starters under the bus for beating underage midget prostitutes and doing heroin (all offenses approximated) in the locker room. In so doing they created such a toxic environment that the previously mentioned best GM in franchise history left for a team that hasn't won a championship since Napoleon was a teenager (all championship drought lengths approximated).

But at least they didn't completely run off the tracks by hiring an anti-Francona who hasn't been relevant in baseball since the '90's and who manages in a way that simply will not work in today's professional sports environment... Okay fine they did that. But at least their poorly chosen manager hasn't been trying to get the Yankees v. Red Sox rivalry reheated in the media for no reason other than to make himself the focal point of a few ESPN articles... Oh he's done that too? ... Well at least he didn't decide to be a juvenile jackass and try to tell grown men that they can't drink beer in the clubhouse after games because of some overplayed nonsense from six months ago before he had even interviewed for the job... Fucking-hell he did that too? This has a 100% of totally working out well (all percentages are false).

Also, the Celtics are old and no longer a threat to win the East.

Oh, and the Patriots lost to the Giants in the Super Bowl... Again.

Yup, Boston, our run just might be over.

Unless of course you're a Bruins fan...