Denver - The New Arlington

In news that would have shocked everyone three weeks ago and shocked no one today Peyton Manning signed with the Denver Broncos.

This was essentially the catalyst to the off-season, the flicked finger that struck the first domino in the elaborate matrix, and now all the rest are allowed to fall.

From a personal standpoint this was the third worst alternative in my little world. The worst alternative would have been Manning signing with the Dolphins thereby requiring me to watch the Patriots deal with him twice every year. The second worst would have been him ending up in San Francisco thereby forcing me to loathe the team supported by my future in-laws and the lady who's relationship with me designates them as such. Living in Colorado, although temporarily, makes this eventuality number three on my "Don't Want" list.

It's more a, "...damn it," than a, "...nooooooooooo," situation but still not my preference by any means. (Come on Manning Arizona is lovely this time of year.)

However a silver lining, nay a irrepressible positive that will come from this will be the exposure of Broncos fans as the complete and utter frauds that we all suspected them to be starting last November. Sure some Bible-thumping idiots who think football is morality contest are genuinely unhappy that Tebow just got his ticket out of Denver stamped with Manning's unmistakable pouting grimace. But for the most part there was only joy here today. And that sends a clear message: THEY KNEW TEBOW SUCKED ALL ALONG.

If they Bronco fans really thought J-Tebow was a franchise-making football player then the staff meeting I was sitting in when the news broke would not have devolved into a scene from the parking lot of Sports Authority Field in 2.5 seconds, but it did. Some were so bold as to call Denver the favorite in the AFC next year. (...You do know he had four neck surgeries and you have no wide-receivers right?)

If you're a Denver fan and you applauded this move you have to burn your Tebow jersey today. Not when he gets traded, today. Why? Because you've been completely full of shit for six months. You lied (TT hates lying btw) to the world by insisting that you actually think Timmy Christ is legit, but now that another option has come along you drop him like third period french.

Not only did you try to argue that he was serviceable (good? great?) you became insufferable, single minded, republican-esque zealots. Anyone that cheered against Tebow was a heathen who hated him because he was religious. Point out his 46% completion percentage? Straight to hell you anti-Christian fool. Note the ridiculous sequence of circumstances and luck that allowed Denver to win eight games in a row including several 60+ yard field goals? Shut up hater, if he was anyone else you wouldn't be saying he sucks.

Well now you're lauding the acquisition of a guy who missed an entire season with multiple neck surgeries. A guy who has always been surrounded by great receivers (you don't have any). A guy who has always played indoors (you play outside in Colorado). A guy who may never be a legitimate starter again, over your messiah. With Tebow you knew what you were going to get and pretended that you loved it, now you have no idea what you're going to get from Manning and you're elated. This confirms for every logical football observer that you all knew from the beginning that Tebow was a scrub. And still you forced him down our throats like broccoli to a seven-year old. Still you defended him against all legitimate criticism by holding his religiosity up as a shield. Still you demanded that his quality as a person count as credit against his deficiencies as a player. Now you turn it off like a light switch and say goodbye.

I was going to hate the Broncos from now on anyway. (I was never much of a lover to begin with.) As a Patriots fan I will never have the slightest positive feeling for a team that employs a Manning. But after this display today? You're approaching Texas Rangers fan pathetic levels. Enjoy your new toy, try to find a second to wave goodbye as they send your old favorite, your '11-'12 savior, your pillar of all things right, your messiah packing to Jacksonville or Miami.

I only have two words for your future: Manning Face.