Buenos Whateveros Amigos!

Cinco de Mayo!

* Before reading this post please keep in mind the following.

1. I got up at 8:00 AM this morning to go to court for an accident that happened on September 30, 2002. The accident took place in Brighton, so naturally the hearing was in Worcester, and when I claimed that the road upon which the accident took place was one lane rather than two (which would swing the verdict in my favor) the mediator looked at me as though he had never heard of a "one lane road". I now have to take pictures of an accident site from nearly 3 years ago to submit as evidence. What do they want me to do, crash my car into a stunt car to simulate the circumstances?

2. I then worked a 4-12 shift, while training my replacement at the Red House, who had clearly never seen the backside of a bar until tonight.

3. This post was written while sipping illegally imported Mexican Tequilla at 1:40 AM in honor of Cinco de Mayo. (A sidenote on Cinco de Mayo, if every country had a holiday for a day when they whooped on the French army the aggregate intelligence of the world would decrease by 11% or more due to all the school that would be missed for "national holidays". It's like having a parade for not finishing last.)

Since it's been a while since my last post, due to sedentary habits and rather influential distractions, and since my lucidity is only bound to decrease with each sip of 1921 Reserva I'll make this quick.

- The Celtics forced a Game 7 tonight by just barely squeaking past the Indiana Pacers in Game 6. This is notable for 2 and 1/2 reasons.

1. There is absolutely no reason that the Celtics should be in this position. A team cannot win 2 games in a series by a combined margin of 60+ and take more than 5 games to close...can it? Well apparently it can. This is a sad state of affairs, but redemption and major face saving is possible on Saturday.

2. As of this moment I am under the impression that I have a ticket to Game 7 on Saturday night. Please oh please let this remain true for the next 48 hours.

2 and 1/2. Even if I don't have the ticket I already took Saturday night off which means I only have 2 nights left on that God forsaken bar, and it means that I can have a normal weekend night....(the B-Slant's liver says, "Maybe that's not a good thing.")

- Bronson Arroyo took a no hitter into the 7th this afternoon. I don't know what to make of this. Everytime I get real excited about this kid he comes out and puts up a 4 and 2/3, 6 hits, 5 runs etc. type outing and takes the wind out of my sails. But this is exactly what the Sox need right now with Schilling down and Wells fat. The spot-starter heavy staff did a remarkable job on this 7 game road trip. The Sox return home having gone 5-2 and still within shouting distance of first place in the East. Arroyo is definitely a bandaid not a solution but I'll take it.

- Chris House, the Red Sox most recently infamous fan (and ex-Curry head football coach) will not be charged in the Gary Sheffield incident. Thank God it's still legal to get assaulted by a 'roid raging maniac for trying to pull your arm out of the way of a foul ball in this state.

- The Brewers have won 7 straight games...well...hmmmm... Nope still don't care. They're the freaking Brewers!

- The respective "media" has lost it's mind and it's perspective. It's May 5th, Cinco de Mayo! Buenos Whateveros Amigos! and they seem to believe that it's over for the Sox and Yanks this season. Are they insane? They are literally talking about who is in a better position to acquire Roger Clemens at the trading deadline, Clemens!? Okay, read and understand...

1. The Yankess have Randy Johnson, Derek Jeter, and Alex Rodriguez. The only trio comparable to that in the major leagues is...

2. The Red Sox have Curt Schilling, Manny Ramirez, and David Ortiz. Don't talk to me about season ending injuries in May. June 15th and he's still not throwing then I'll host the panic party.

3. Keith Foulke, Mariano Rivera. They are still better than BJ Ryan.

4. Bruce Chen is the ace of the Orioles staff, of course it should be Ponson but his ERA is near 7. Erik Bedard is...who? The Blue Jays have Roy Halladay and....right.

5. The Yanks and Sox are old, but old = experienced.

6. The Central is not more competitive, the White Sox are just hot. The Twins will win by 12 games and if the White Sox do get in they'll lose in 4 to the Yankees instead of 5 like the Twins. However, they do get to play against the Royals 19 times each which will be a huge Wild Card edge.

Maybe there is a shake up in the works for the AL this season but don't talk to me about it in the first week of May. If the Orioles are still in first at the All Star break and the Yankees are still floundering then I'll listen, but at this point all you have are hot bats and unproven arms leading the way. On an average day the Yanks and the Sox are still the best in the league. Sure, if the Orioles can keep this up they can win the Division, but they haven't shown that they have the arms in the last 5 years and little has changed.

I still stand by my prediction that the East will fall into place much like last year. Sure the Wild Card could come from another division because the Red Sox and Yankees will have to play at a higher level more often given the unbalanced schedule, but I won't believe it at this point. There is too much talent in place to give up on Boston or New York one month into the season.

- Cinco de Mayo! Arriba! Buenos Whateveros Amigos! Mas Tequilla Por Favor!