No longer will we listen to the jibes of the Russians over a Stoli martini. "Stupid Americans, zu will never vin a medal in ze ice dance! Ve dominate your silly democracy with our floppy hair and albino skin!"
Nor will the taunts of the Norwegians echo in our heads for another four years. "Sure you vin ze snowboarding and ze speed skating but you don't have ze girly men it takes to win the ze ice dance...and our leotards look much better on us!"
(Yes I am spelling the Norwegian and Russian accents the same. Oh like you could do better?)
Indeed America this is one of those times of athletic greatness and accomplishment that we will look back upon and say, "Wow, people were actually interested in that limp-wristed Sally pants "NOT A SPORT" back then? Where's a little Cold War when you need one?"
Guys, unless the amount of skating you watch relates directly to the amount of sex you get from the missus don't ever let me catch you watching ice dancing...ever!
With that said, let's move on.
NBA All Star Weekend:
Good thing Kenny Smith wasn't judging the ice dancing competition in Torino because we would have another international scandal on our hands (see: '02 games).
The "other" A.I. (Andre Iguodala) got flat robbed in Saturday's dunk contest. To begin with two of his dunks (behind the backboard and behind the back) were better than any of Nate Robinson's, including the one that took the 5'9" Knick rookie 14 (not a typo) tries to complete. Furthermore A.I. actually won the contest until Kenny Smith got a message from TNT saying that he had to walk the party line and give the trophy to an undeserving (albeit game) Robinson whose stroke of genius in incorporating Spud Webb into his highest scoring dunk handed him the title based on sentiment rather than performance.
This may have been the death rattle for an already struggling contest that has not seen any legitimate star power since Vince Carter was hanging from the rim by his elbow.
The All-Star game itself was entertaining, with a big comeback and a few last second shots, but in the end it was a microcosm of the NBA as a whole. The 24 super stars involved in the game played it like a dramatized version of a regular season matchup. They walked through the motions for the majority and then turned it on for five minutes creating a memory of a furious finish and a vague sense of prior dissatisfaction. I don't mind that no one plays defense, in fact I prefer it that way. But if no one is going to guard you then you have to complete the alley-oop, hit the jump shot, and finish the break.
Lebron James took the MVP in a slightly contested decision. In my mind it should have gone to Tracy McGrady even in a loss. He put up 36 and he was playing in his home arena, give the people what they want. James was clearly the only guy on the floor putting out max effort from "go" which is why he went for 29 against defenders who had no interest in even trying to stop him. Still, I do give him credit for being the one guy who came to play.
The one aspect that made the price of admission worth ever penny was seeing Yao Ming talk and the rest of the players dance. You would think that at this point Gumby would have a working understanding of the English language but to me he still sounds like he did in that GPS commercial he did a few years ago where the yokel asks him if he needs directions and Yao in a moment of acting nirvana says, "NoIgotThhhem."
All in all I think that the NBA All-Star game is the best of the major pro-sports, based on the potential for incredible athletic displays, huge highlights, and star power. That being said in the land of the blind the one-eyed man is king.
The Olympics:
Two of the biggest stories of this weekend came from Torino, as should be expected, but the crux of what went on seemed to be more soap opera than international showcase.
First, we have the ongoing war of words between the American speed skaters Chad Hedrick and Shanie Davis. Hedrick is calling out Davis for refusing to take part in the team relay, an event in which the US could have taken a medal had Davis competed, and in response Davis is launching the proverbial fire hose at the entire American team and US Speed Skating in general claiming that he has been a victim of racism and unfair treatment.
Frankly, who gives a rats ass? In two weeks these guys will be nothing but a memory and a headline in the Olympic archives. In some respects I see both sides here. Hedrick wanted to mount a challenge on the all time record for speed skating gold medals in one games (5). To do so he would have needed a victory in the relay, so to say that his motives were entirely altruistic or team based is probably stretching the truth. In fact, these guys are not teammates. There is no doubt that Davis is an asshole, no one disputes that, but speed skating has always been (until these games, the first to feature a team event) an individual sport. Hedrick and Davis don't train together, they compete against each other in non-Olympic years, and in almost all respects the only thing that they have in common is the uniform on their back. Should we blame Davis for not wanting to jeopardize the chance to achieve his lifelong dream of being the first black athlete to win a Winter Olympics individual gold so that he could aid Hedrick's own selfish ambitions? I don't think so. This isn't football where you need to other 10 guys on the field to succeed in order for individual glory. In this sport it's always been every man for himself and while his demeanor and the invocation of the race card are patently offensive, Davis' decision not to compete in the relay is not.
The other story from this weekend was the continued failure of Bode Miller. It's a damn good thing that the enigmatic Miller gave himself an out before the games by saying that he doesn't care about the medals because he certainly has not skied like he deserves any. In his last legitimate shot at the podium Miller finished sixth in the Super G and once again triumphed the value of effort and fun in defeat. Maybe he actually buys this stuff, and if he does good for him. I don't put any stock in the criticism of Miller for drinking too much etc. he has always behaved that way and has consistently competed at a high level. I do believe however that he took himself out of a competitive mindset before the games even began with his repeated elocutions on the over-emphasis on medals and his disagreement with the gold-oriented view point of USA Skiing. Sometimes if you go into something thinking that you don't care about winning the actual effect on your psyche is the make you believe that you aren't going to win.
Perhaps an even bigger surprise is the utter failure of Daron Rahlves who's highest finish in these games was 9th. Coming into Torino the US team was touting itself as the best in the world. Now, after just one gold medal it seems that they are merely the best at giving the other competitors something to stew on before whooping their asses. I give joinbode.com 3 months before it's taken down and we never hear from him again. Single tear.
Ricky Williams:
Just let me trade places with this guy. Give me the body, the work ethic, and the skills to be an NFL running back and he can come be unemployed and smoke as much pot as he wants in my very drug friendly neighborhood.
Reports leaked (HUGE breach of the CBA with the Players Association) from the NFL offices this week that Williams had failed another drug test, his fourth leading to a possible year long suspension. Since that report surfaced information has been coming in suggesting that the positive test was for something other than marijuana. Williams' mother swore on her life (literally) that her son had not smoked pot and that he likely failed the test due to one of the supplements involved in his yoga regiment.
Yoga...8 million dollars...yoga...8 million dollars... Tough choice huh Ricky? At this point if I were Williams I wouldn't even be walking within 500 yards of GNC or a Snoop Dog concert. He probably doesn't have the 8 million in signing bonuses to pay back to the Dolphins and if he gets suspended for a year he can kiss any career he might have had left goodbye. I just can't imagine what goes on in his head as he contemplates doing things that could jeopardize the guaranteed financial stability for life that would be all but handed to him if he stays out of trouble. In all reality he probably on has 3 to 4 more years left in the league. If he could keep his nose clean for that long he could move to Jamaica or India or someplace where the weed flows like wine and live the rest of his days smoking joints rolled in 100 dollar bills. As is he'll be lucky if his appeal is accepted and his suspension reduced, either way he's taking a hit.
Manny Being Manny:
This season might not be getting off to such a hot start for the Sox and their oft-brain-soft left fielder. For some reason Ramirez has requested permission to report to camp on March 1st, six days late, reportedly the Red Sox have agreed. Here's the problem, why would he report on March 1st if he's going to be playing for the Dominican Republic in the World Baseball Classic (somewhere other than Fort Myers) on March 3rd? Is he literally going to show up for one day and then take off to their first round game? I understand the Red Sox agreeing to the request in an attempt to start the season off on a positive note in Manny's mind but the logistics of this indicate to me that Manny has no intention of reporting to camp at all, or at least not until after the WBC.
We all know that at least a part of Manny's very strange personality doesn't want to be here and that at some point he's going to make up that functioning part of his mind and decide that he's leaving whether we want him to or not. For the Red Sox that point cannot come this season. With the offensive losses already suffered by the club the last thing in the world they could afford to would be the removal of the best right handed hitter in the American League. They need to convince Ramirez that they made a "good faith" effort to trade him, point to his enormous salary as the reason they could not, pat him on the butt, and collect 140 RBIs from his spot in the 3 hole.
Daytona 500:
I don't watch NASCAR, I don't get NASCAR, and I don't really like NASCAR. That being said there is something undeniably impressive about guys racing each other at 190 mph six inches away from each other's bumper.
In watching the Great American Race on Sunday I did have a few questions however.
- I am not from the South and as such do not have a southern accent. Am I still allowed to participate in NASCAR in any way? Everyone they interviewed sounded like Jessica Simpson in The Dukes of Hazard.
- How can this legitimately be considered a fair competition if you are allowed to do something that so flagrantly breaks the rules like...oh I don't know...run Matt Kenseth off the road? What Tony Stewart did to Kenseth in forcing him onto the infield would have killed a family of four on the highway. How does that not warrant a disqualification?
- Wasn't Tony Stewart the one on his soap box screaming for SAFER driving this week? Was it all just an elaborate ruse to fool us, like when Kobe Bryant pretended to be a good guy for 5 years?
- Is there another situation in life where rear ending someone can be considered a helpful push?
- Was the amount of confetti dumped on Jimmy Johnson's car in the victory lane an assassination attempt?
- 200,000 people? Did I hear that right? So that's twice the number of that can fit into The Big House at Michigan? Further proof that...well...I don't know what the hell that proves.
- Can I get a pit crew to work on my car? They do the same amount of work in 15 seconds that it takes my dealership two weeks to accomplish. And can I pay by the hour?
Curt Gowdy
Read about Gowdy's life and death HERE. I frankly don't know enough about his career or his contributions to sports to speak knowledgeably and fairly about him. In reading about him yesterday and today however I did discover a few remarkable things. He is truly a legend of an era that has past.
Gowdy is the only person ever to be inducted into the baseball, football, and sportscaster's halls of fame. He called 13 World Series, 16 All Star Games and 6 Super Bowls. He was also in the booth during the infamous Heidi game when NBC cut away from the Jets at the Raiders late in the fourth quarter to televise the musical. That day changed the landscape of football broadcasting in America. In addition to his announcing accolades he also hosted the wildly popular "American Sportsman" for 20+ years.
As the Red Sox play by play announcer from 1951 to 1966 he most famously called Ted Williams' last major league at bat, where he homered into the right field bleachers.
In today's era of specialization there is no comparison to Gowdy. A qualified and knowledgeable announcer of multiple sports and events Gowdy's greatest difference from today's breed of announcer may have been opportunity. Never again will we see someone with the unprecedented access that Gowdy had to the biggest games regardless of venue or circumstance. A popular saying at the time, as quoted by Al Michaels to ESPN radio yesterday said, "If you turned on the TV and heard Curt Gowdy's voice you knew it was a big game."
Having learned all this I think I wouldn't mind trading places with Mr. Gowdy, not now of course, but maybe starting in 1944 when he broadcast his first game. I wish I had seen him in his day.
No comments:
Post a Comment