My Weekend Predictions

Here are my predictions for the upcoming weekend, including tonight's Rose Bowl. I just wanted to get these opinions on the record so that when (if lightning strikes) I'm right you cannot say I did not tell you so.

Rose Bowl: USC by 14. I don't think Texas has much of a chance in this game. It's essentially a home game for the Trojans. Yes there will be a lot of Texas fans there but you cannot discount the fact that the game is being played in friendlier and more familiar confines for USC. They are closer to home, the locals are their fans, and their star(S!) are better than Texas' lone star... Simple math can provide the result: 2 Heisman trophy winners + 1 backup running back superior to all athletes on the opposing team save one - 1 quasi-legitimate Heisman candidate (LOUSY competition in the Big 12) = 2. Multiply the result by 7 (Matt Leinart's number 11 - Reggie Bush's number 5 + the number of times Texas has played in a game this important since 1970 1) and there you have it, a 14 point margin of victory.

EDIT: I am an idiot. 0-1, every USC fan should hold a huge grudge against me because I am the biggest jinx in sports. Or maybe they should look at Pete Carroll and his inexplicable decision not to spy Vince Young for the entire second half (or at least the last freaking drive when everyone in the world knew that the only way they were scoring was on a scramble!), or not to give Reggie Bush the ball on 4th and 2 with the game on the line. Didn't he win the Heisman? Didn't Matt Leinart win one as well? Nah forget all that, give it to that White kid instead, he deserves some time in the spotlight right? In case you forgot why Pete Carroll failed in New England...

Jaguars at Patriots: Pats by 10. The dynasty might end this year but it will not end at the hands of the greatly overrated Jack Del Rio and the Jacksonville Jaguars in Foxboro. Byron Leftwich had horrible mobility before he got hurt and now with a banged up ankle he is going to be a standing target for Richard Seymour and Mike Vrabel, regardless of how many teammates are there to carry him down the field after completions. Fred Taylor has also been banged up all season and more or less for his entire career, he says that he is healthy but is he ever really? Corey Dillon on the other hand seems to have benefited from having week 17 off and should be a big factor, complimented by his now healthy backups Kevin Faulk and Patrick Pass. The Jags defense is stingy but not dominating and the Pats offense has moved successfully against better this season. Finally, and most importantly Tom Brady and Bill Belichick just do not lose this game. They are not an intangible they are a hammer that drops of the heads of those who come to Foxboro with dreams of glory. Also don't forget that by the end of the game the temperature will be in the high teens, it doesn't get that cold in Florida during this time of year does it?

Pathers at Giants: Eli in the playoffs. Those four words should be enough to put the fear of God into fans of the G-man everywhere. The only way the Giants win this game is if they keep D-Caf Jr. on his feet and make sure that he hands the ball off more than he drops back with it. It's going to take a steady diet of Tiki to slow the aggressive pass rush of the Panthers and slowing that rush is the only way to keep Eli's head in the game and keep is, "Daddy why!?" sour puss off the television screen. On the other side of the ball the Panthers need to get the ball going down the field. Deshaun Foster is taking this team exactly nowhere against NY's run defense so it's on Jake Delhomme and the absurdly talented Steve Smith to carry the load. I see this game being close but I just can't imagine a scenario where Eli can get through a playoff game without killing the Giants. Well actually I can imagine one, the NFL is just DYING to get as many Mannings into the spotlight in Detroit as possible. The schedule and this entire season has been set up to get Peyton there, to get Eli there to play him would just be gravy for Tagliabue so if New York is losing in the 4th quarter the NFL might order a lighning strike or some other natural disaster to strike down the entire Panther team in order to keep their dream alive. Panthers by 7.

Steelers at Bengals: What was that whistling sound followed by a loud boom that you just heard? Yup, that was the Bengals season going down in flames. Okay, that might be a little dramatic. I actually think that this will be the best game of the weekend. I like Pittsburgh because they are on a roll and Cincy just got throttled in their last playoff tune up and have been sliding. The Steelers beat on you relentlessly and gradually wear you down while the Bengals would prefer to play more of a finesse game and it the playoffs the finesse game often gets smacked around by the harder-nosed team (ask Indy). Also, we're talking about Cincinnati here, is anything good allowed to happen to this franchise? I think it will take a huge day through the air for Palmer, Houshmandzadeh, and Chad Johnson because I don't see Rudi Johnson getting anything going against the Steelers front 7. Early in the season the Bengals were running over people because of their amazing secondary in turnover ratio, now that ratio has come down to earth and their corners won't be able to help much against a Pittsburgh 3-headed running attack. Pittsburgh by 3.

Redskins and Buccaneers: Err...both of these teams made the playoffs? The NFC just stinks doesn't it? The Bucs really have to worry about their entire offense being led by rookies. Yes Carnell Williams has been a very impressive rookie but he's a rookie nonetheless and Chris Simms has yet to convince anyone he will be able to handle the pressure of a big game (see his performance at New England a few weeks ago). Mark Brunell on the other hand has been here and will be unfazed by playing a playoff game on the road and despite his injuries Clinton Portis has been running well. Any discussion about this game is basically a moot point because it's a race to see who gets to lose in the next round anyway. I'll go with the Redskins by 5 because of the same phrase I used in the Giants game: Simms in the playoffs.

One other quick note: the FSU vs. Penn State game was a classic but it brought up one question for me. What the heck are Jo-Pa and Bowden doing during these games? Neither of them are wearing headsets or calling plays, hell I don't think I saw either of them talk to a player other than Jo-Pa's paternal "the cameras are watching" head pat to his kicker after his potentially game clinching miss. I posed this question to a Penn State fan sitting at my bar last night during the game and he said, "Shut up, don't wake Jo-Pa up we're doing fine." Finally, has Happy Valley been in the midst of a heat wave or has a certain someone been hitting the tanning bed lately? The man's face was freezer-burn orange, get Jo-Pa some sunscreen before he gets skin cancer for the love of Pete!